On the first day of classes at the University, Professor of English Damien Lockwood, who prefers his students address him simply as “Damien” or “Woody,” flipped off the lights in his cramped English 101 class and declared, “it’s showtime.”

“We all turned to the projector, and on the screen was this big picture of an uncooked ham with three fire emojis underneath it. That’s when I knew our class was in for something special, and I immediately started filming on my iPhone,” Katie Davis ’20 said.

At precisely this moment, Lockwood reportedly threw a pencil that was conveniently tucked behind his ear across the room, slamming against his metal desk.

“I then yelled to the kids, ‘Get out your Shakespeare because this Ham’s about to get LIT!’” Lockwood said.

Within minutes of posting the video on Facebook, Comedy Central executives were alerted by the news of an up-and-coming comedian, Damien “Woody” Lockwood.

“I couldn’t help but compare him immediately to the great comedic minds of our lifetime. Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K., and other legends of the comedy world. Booking him on our channel was a no-brainer after that,” one executive said.

As a result of this stroke of comedic genius, Lockwood has secured a full one-hour special on Comedy Central with a possible option of extending to a full series on the acclaimed comedy channel.

“It really is a dream come true. Though, I’m really not that worried about the spotlight in all honesty. I like to think of my students as my audience so the adjustment from classroom to Radio City Music Hall will be a piece of cake … so just make sure you don’t tell my nutritionist about it,” Lockwood said.