The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

Correct pronunciation of Amami sparks heated debate on campus

Correct pronunciation of Amami sparks heated debate on campus

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor
April 20, 2017
Filed under Satire, Top Stories, Top Stories

DOWNTOWN LEWISBURG—Amami Kitchen & Espresso Bar, a popular spot among University students, has been the reason for a recent division of students on campus. Debate over whether the café is pronounced “ama-me” or “ah-mommy” has taken campus by storm. Matt Valdez ’19, a member of camp ...

Young Love: Looking for love in all the wrong places: Campus Edition

Young Love: Looking for love in all the wrong places: Campus Edition

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor
April 20, 2017
Filed under Satire, Young Love

1.  The basement of Harris Hall, during your first year 2.  The third floor of Bertrand Library (the basement of Bertrand would also be acceptable) 3.  The Fall Fest concert (Spring Concert is not an alternative) 4.  KLARC 5.  The Library Café (just get your coffee and go) 6....

University seniors find love with one month left

University seniors find love with one month left

Mariele Saunders-Shultz, Contributing Writer
April 20, 2017
Filed under Satire

With the last couple weeks of senior year flying by, seniors Jack Greensburg ’17 and Molly Parkoset ’17 decided that it was the perfect time to embark on a new relationship. When asked about how their budding relationship began Greensburg said, “we made out a couple times at the bar,...

OverHerd

OverHerd

April 20, 2017
Filed under Overherd on Campus, Satire

“Come to our philanthropy and support domestic violence!” “Hang on, I’m gonna buy deodorant and some chicken fingers.” “How opposed would everyone be to me playing ‘Homeland’ softly in the background? I think it’s a sex scene.” “I thought I finally figured out my sexuality and t...

The List: Things to do instead of getting a summer job or internship

The List: Things to do instead of getting a summer job or internship

Madeline Diamond & Courtney Wren, Senior Editor & Satire Editor
April 20, 2017
Filed under Satire, The List

1.Go to a ranch in Montana. Breed geckos. Perfect your own Amami sriracha mayo recipe. Reconnect with your best friend from elementary school. Teach yourself how to code. Knit a sweater for your mom. Go through every item in your local Forever 21’s clear...

First years have great time at Open Suites, know they’ll sail right through recruitment

First years have great time at Open Suites, know they’ll sail right through recruitment

Courtney Wren, Satire Editor
April 20, 2017
Filed under Satire

Following the Panhellenic Council’s Open Suites event, many of the first-year participants were eager to tell reporters their thoughts on how their behavior at the event will impact their recruitment experience in the fall. When asked about her experience during Open Suites, Molly Marts ’20 told...

Student with unpaid internship realizes that some internships are actually paid

Student with unpaid internship realizes that some internships are actually paid

Maggie Carlson, Staff Writer
April 17, 2017
Filed under Satire

Kevin Kress ’18, a junior majoring in philosophy and art history, was sent into a panic after his recent meeting at the Career Development Center (CDC). Kress, who spent his past two summers interning at non-profits and museums, had always assumed that all internships were unpaid and everyone’s...

OverHerd on campus

OverHerd on campus

April 13, 2017
Filed under Overherd on Campus, Satire

“Mom, I had the spaciest weekend.” “My dad asked me where my tax return went and I said I don’t know, probably to my trips to Italy, or Budapest ... where I incidentally contracted hand-foot-and-mouth disease.” “Now I don’t feel bad that I didn’t go to Mexico because it’s so nice...

The List: Other things that Sean Spicer thinks never happened

April 13, 2017
Filed under Satire, The List

Dinosaurs The Great Depression “Hamilton: An American Musical” The Titanic (the actual event, not the movie) The WNBA The Boston Tea Party Sex for pleasure Darwinism Siamese twins Soft grunge The podcast industry The Hundred...

Roommate throws out all of roommate’s belongings that littered the floor

Courtney Wren, Satire Editor
April 13, 2017
Filed under Satire

LEWISBURG, PA—In a fit of rage over the state of their Vedder Hall double, Julia Judd-House ’20 told reporters on Tuesday that she took all of her roommate’s items that weren’t in her dresser and threw them in the dumpster outside of their dorm. “I just don’t understand what she doesn’t...

‘News organizations’ abandon journalistic integrity, promote personality quizzes

Charles Beers, News Editor
April 13, 2017
Filed under Satire

This past week, a prestigious New York City-based news publication with a liberal slant and a three-letter acronym announced a new initiative for its summer publication schedule. In order to connect with youth culture, the website will move away from well-researched reports on national news and current...

Young Love: Uncuffing season

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor
April 13, 2017
Filed under Satire, Young Love

Josh Miller ’17 sat in class on Thursday afternoon debating how to break up with his girlfriend of six months, Sarah Martinez ’17. The reason for the termination of the relationship was not derived from a lack of chemistry, but rather an increase of temperature—outside. In the last week, the dreary...

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