Self-care causes cussed customs

Liz Whitmer, Satire Co-Editor

This semester, self-care is more essential than ever before. University students have provided reporters with exclusive insight into how they are tackling this.

Rachel Relax ’23 considers herself an expert at curating a healthy environment for herself, especially since she began self-isolating. When asked about her routine, Relax informed reporters, “Whenever I’m not feeling myself and need a little emotional boost, I like to draw myself a bath to blow off some steam. Of course, some actual steam is involved in order to boil any airborne illnesses from my body, but the 212-degree water is  a perfect way to unwind before bed.”

While Relax’s approach is quite practical, Vanessa Vain ’22 makes herself feel good by looking good, even when she is in quarantine. “I love to dress up, even when no one else is around,” Vain said. “I want to look good for myself, so I went ahead and bought a $70 pair of tie-dye sweatpants from a girl on Instagram. I think it gives me a boost of confidence on my Zoom calls, even if no one can see me.”

Local convenience stores have also seen an increase in business as self-care products are flying off the shelves. The manager of the local CVS has reported a huge spike in sales of their $0.99 face masks, which also resulted in a higher demand for skincare products a few days later. For legal reasons, it is notable that corporate offices have denied any connection between these two trends.

Zach Zen ’21 is not to be fooled by the allure of retail therapy that has led to failure for many students, and instead participates in self-care by connecting with nature. Zen enjoys going for long walks to clear his mind, although he should remember that he will be sent home if the tracking device the University implanted upon his arrival indicated he has stepped foot off campus.

Even though self-care proves to be a challenge for some, these students seem to be coping with their new reality in the healthiest and most productive ways possible.

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