As the holiday season approaches, many students are tasked with selecting the perfect gifts for family and friends. While it is challenging to find a present for loved ones, it is arguably harder to buy a gift for your insufferable college roommate. Therefore, for all of you who inconveniently pulled your roommate’s name for the dorm gift exchange, I will give you some suggestions of things to buy your roommate.
Does your roommate take loud phone calls in the room when you are studying for the upcoming organic chemistry final? Do they scream/cry as they play Taylor’s Version of “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version)” whenever they have a minor inconvenience in life? If so, you may want to buy headphones to give your loud living companion a passive-aggressive noise complaint. If your roommate cannot take the hint, I suggest you buy yourself noise-canceling headphones to block out your roaring roomie.
Are you into handmade gifts? For all you crafty folk, I recommend that you utilize things in your dorm to make a cheap and creative piece of art. First, you collect your roommate’s hair that has piled up in the shower drain. Then, you can shape this malleable material to create an abstract image. You can also personalize the gift by writing the words “slob” or “haircut needed.” When finished, display your work on the shower wall to be found by your lucky roommate.
Whale Muffling Technology
Although you may have enjoyed seeing the whales during your family’s recent trip to Massachusetts, you don’t need to hear their majestic wails from the mouth of your roommate every night. To quiet your mouthy mammal, you can give them nasal strips to open their airways and silence their snoring. Maybe then, you can stop having nightmares about belugas.
Dream Wedding Scrapbook
Does your roommate bring their significant other or romantic flings back to the room spontaneously? Well, by giving them a book of flower arrangements and color charts, you can ward off your roommate’s potential love interests. This gift may not assure you the position of bridesmaid or groomsman, but it will prevent very awkward morning small talk.