Sleeping Around: BDSM

By Stacey Lace

Columnist

Some people like it rough. I think the appeal comes from the thought of either being in charge or being totally dominated. So popular, the term “BDSM” has been coined to mean bondage, domination, sadism and masochism.

Rough play has even made its way into pop culture. In the first season of “Desperate Housewives,” Bree’s husband habitually visited a dominatrix prostitutional housewife. Rihanna released “S&M” in January 2011, debuting it at No. 53 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and moving all the way up to No. 1. The song has even been certified double platinum.

With all of this hype, it seems like some whips and chains might not just excite Rihanna, but could excite the rest of us, too. At first I was pretty skeptical to get involved in BDSM myself, but Rihanna’s urging has given me the encouragement to find out more. I feel as though the heat created by a dominating situation might put a little hot sauce on my otherwise red-pepper-flaked sex life.

Whenever people start thinking about BDSM activities, we can’t help but think of the props that might complete the experience. I’m particularly interested in handcuffs, whips, gags and a little blindfolding.

I’m not so sure I’d experiment with bondage quite yet, but the blindfolding could be fun and wouldn’t necessarily be as “rough” as other props. I realize this sounds like something straight out of “Cosmopolitan,” but I think the anticipation of not necessarily knowing what thrilling sexual act will be performed next can be a great turn on.

The BDSM attire also shouldn’t go unnoticed. Personally, I love the way black thigh high leather boots look. I have a pair that makes me my legs look rocking. I’ve also always been a big fan of sexy lingerie. A lacy black get-up can create a nice juxtaposition with the leather boots or a black leather jewelry piece with metal spikes. (I personally think the dog collar is a little much, but I can see the appeal for some.)

Every time I get down and dirty doesn’t need to be the greatest thrill I’ve ever experienced, but I think throwing in a little variety can kick up the satisfaction a notch or two. Sometimes, a little BDSM can get the job done.

Disclaimer: In no way are BDSM activity and non-consensual sex the same. Prior to engaging in any type of BDSM behavior, consent of all parties involved should be clearly stated.

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