Students across the University’s campus are arriving home after what can only be described as a whale of a mistake.
Vines of the Vineyard, dubbed by many as one of the preppiest wineries in central Pennsylvania, offered free tours of its facilities to both students and locals alike on Sept. 16. Guests would get an inside look at how Vines of Vineyard harvest their grapes, the fermentation process, and the bottling of the wine. Though quite clearly laid out, it still came as a surprise to local students when they arrived on the property.
“I thought it was a creative location for a Vineyard Vines. I mean, it’s in a rustic barn on these big open grape fields, which is so fetch,” Savannah von Blanc ’18 said. Once the students began the 1 p.m. tour, they realized this was not what they actually came for.
“We asked [owner John Riesling] what kinds of merchandise he sold there, and he said that they have many grapes and wines,” Penny Noir ’18 said. “ I wondered if grapes come in a plaid variety. Or perhaps the pattern on the clothing is grapes?”
“I knew something was fishy when I didn’t see a whale symbol anywhere,” Mike Moscat ’19 said.
Once it dawned on the students that they weren’t going to be leaving the property carrying big bags filled with sailor shorts and WASP-y dresses, they abandoned the winery in a haste.
“The next closest Vineyard Vines is in Pittsburgh, which is like, 200 miles away,” Von Blanc said. “I don’t get why they don’t sell the clothes here at this local store if they’re claiming to be a Vineyard Vines.”
“I would like to stress that Vines of the Vineyard does not sell whale-patterned clothing. We are a winery, selling real wines. Our grapes do not come in patterns. No grapes come in patterns. We are not Vineyard Vines, okay?” Riesling said in a public statement after the alleged incident.
A new sign can now be seen hanging over the entrance, announcing “We are not Vineyard Vines.” The establishment is open for tours Monday through Friday for patrons who sign a waiver form saying they understand that clothing is not available for purchase.