Jon’s Declassified: Holiday Edition

Jon Meier, Satire Co-Editor

Q: What’s the best way to cook a turkey?

A: Poultry tastes best when cooked medium rare.


Q: When is it too early to start playing Christmas music?

A: Give Thanksgiving the respect it deserves. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey is the only exception – that song is timeless.


Q: What is eggnog made of?

A: I’ve always wondered the same thing. There’s definitely eggs involved, but I have no idea what nog is.


Q: I’m thinking about proposing to my girlfriend on Christmas Eve, what do you think?

A: Sounds like a great idea if your girlfriend is into clichés.

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