Graphic by Jared Shapiro
TikTok is the new app that has taken teens, comedians and middle-aged men alike by storm, and one question has been rattling in the minds of everyone with too much free time and an overwhelming desire for attention: how does one become TikTok famous?
This article can steer you in the right direction by giving you five ways to make it on the infamous #foryoupage.
1. Spend copious amounts of money.
If you’re truly dedicated to becoming a TikTok sensation, being a trust fund baby is the first step to success, just like in any other endeavor. Contacting the company’s headquarters is easy, and they will readily accept a hefty check to get you on that coveted For You page. Having talent is overrated.
2. Divulge excessive personal information.
If you don’t have extra money just lying around, this one is just as easy – only significantly more socially damaging. The only thing people love more than drama is drama in which they have no personal risk involved. Filling your followers in on the roots of your childhood trauma, the time you were cheated on and your crippling fear of failure all in a classic “story time” will multiply your fan base overnight.
3. Be attractive.
This one is fun if you can pull it off because you can do literally nothing and still become famous. It’s preferable that you don’t talk during TikToks if you’re using this technique so as not to distract from your goal. If only half of the Kardashian/Jenner family would take that advice, too.
4. Become a political radical.
People are still really upset about Kent State Gun Girl, so if you just keep fueling the fire with the political rhetoric you keep to yourself when you’re around your family, the TikTok algorithm will eat that up. Plus, something positive may even come out of the current divisive political landscape.
5. Fake your own death.
It’s so typical for people to only become a fan once someone dies. We all remember what happened to Emily Dickinson. Once your following starts to lose interest in watching you Renegade for the ninth time this week, plan a funeral and watch those numbers skyrocket like never before.