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Amazing: Biden wears rainbow pin while allowing conversion therapy

For those of you who let this election pass you by because you don’t think there is any distinguishable difference between U.S. President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden, you could not be more wrong. The fact that two old, straight, white men appear indistinguishable in their values to some is disgusting and […]

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Biden the Bingo prodigy

Election Day 2020 did not go as planned. The country is in a state of unrest, turmoil and fear. Nobody knows what will happen or when we will know who the next president will be.  One person in the entire country is sleeping well tonight, and it’s former Vice President of the United States Joseph […]

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Satire

Late-night political texts

You spent the past four years arguing with your great uncle about why it’s bad to hate gay people. You told your grandma we definitely do not say “colored” anymore and it absolutely did not stick. You asked your estranged cousin why she hates feminists so much when they literally gave her the right to […]

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A scientific fact: Lawn signs must be controversial

This election year, perhaps more than any other, there seemed to be an excessive amount of lawn signs placed outside of people’s homes. Sometimes there was one small sign in the front yard, demonstrating support. Sometimes there were 30 small signs in the front yard, as well as flags and banners on the houses and […]

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The great truck debate

Across this campus, lines have been drawn, flags have been set and differing opinions have been argued, resulting in students being outcasted and discriminated against everywhere for their views. This topic has been hotly argued throughout the weeks and months that we have been on campus. However, it is I, He who Peels Bananas, who will resolve […]

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Dorm room or prison cell?

As Halloween approaches, the scariest thing that could happen to the students and faculty at the University has happened: a spike in COVID-19 cases, right as we head into the last month of the fall semester. To most people, the number of active cases at the University would seem minuscule, almost insignificant. But to the […]

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Tinder biographies and their writers

Of all the things that have changed this year — the virtual classes, the mask-wearing and the lack of motivation at the University in general — perhaps nothing has changed more than the structure of Tinder biographies.  Hookup culture in college is already hard enough as it is, especially if you’re having a hard time […]

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Campus squirrels concocting covert plan

Some of the campus’s most valued members, the half-domesticated squirrels, are feeling betrayed by the imminent mass exodus of students from the University. Reporters for The Bucknellian tried to gauge how the little critters will be blowing off steam over the 10-week break, but this was sadly to no avail. When approached by our team’s […]

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Five tips for self-care: Fall 2020 edition

With the sudden influx of on-campus COVID -19 cases and the newest restrictions sent out by the University, many students are feeling overwhelmed. Here are five ways you can be sure to have some time with yourself during this stressful time on campus. Take a bath: bonus points if you are a first-year… nothing instills […]

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Why students should be allowed to have their cameras off

Due to the shift from traditional in-person classes to remote instruction, there has been a great deal of discussion on a topic that concerns both students and professors alike: should students be required to have their camera on during online classes? This debate has sparked much controversy. Teachers and professors tend to say that, yes, […]

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Spookiest Halloween costumes of 2020

It is October, so you know what that means. Spooky season is upon us — and has been for a while, but it all builds up to next week. If you don’t like Halloween, you’re in the minority. It’s an opportunity for everyone to consume absurd amounts of candy — and, in many cases, alcohol […]

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People are spending more time in their rooms. Why?

With the coronavirus taking top priority on the University campus, we have seen a lack of reliable weekly activities, Jerry the Clown and the advent of online schooling. More and more students have been staying in their rooms than ever before. One has to wonder, “What are they hiding?” Well, as a fellow student with […]