The Bucknellian

Trump panics upon realizing he actually has to run the country

Madeline Diamond and Courtney Wren, Senior Editor and Satire Editor

November 11, 2016

The glamour of the approximately 17-month-long campaign has faded and it has recently become apparent to president-elect Donald Trump that he will actually have to run the United States. So much of Trump’s focus has been on winning the presidency that the actual responsibilities of the job have...

The List: Donald Trump’s post-election to-do list

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

November 11, 2016

1. Move out of Trump Tower and New York. 2. Actually learn about foreign and domestic policy. 3. Not grab women by the p*ssy. 4. Pay women not to talk about how he grabbed them by the p*ssy. 5. Learn how to say the word “huge” correctly. 6. Find the right pen to fit into his tiny hands to ...

White male student forgets to register to vote, realizes election won’t affect him anyway

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

November 3, 2016

With the presidential election mere days away, politically involved students have participated in last-minute advocacy across campus for their candidates of choice. In the midst of the fervent political engagement of his peers, Brad White ’18 realized that he had forgotten to register to vote. “You...

Tour guide adds ‘walking backwards’ to skills section of LinkedIn

Tour guide adds ‘walking backwards’ to skills section of LinkedIn

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

November 3, 2016

After attending a LinkedIn training session at the Career Development Center this week, Victoria Vedder ’17 spoke out about the lack of recognition for campus tour guides in the job world. “Tour guides have a tough job. We need stamina to guide our groups up and down the hills all across campu...

Unprepared downtown residents scramble for trick-or-treaters

Steph Garboski, Contributing Writer

November 3, 2016

Lewisburg was alive with little goblins, witches, and child-sized Beyoncés on Oct. 31, all going door-to-door in search of candy. For the past five years, Lewisburg residents have avoided the “downtown” scene near the University in fear of rowdy college students, with their loud music and revealing...

Young Love: Tips from seven of campus’ best love gurus

Madeleine Silva, Web Managing Editor

November 3, 2016

Lizzie: Don’t make eye contact on the Quad until 17.5 days into knowing him. Suspense is sexy. Dawn: She’s right. But in the same regard, don’t be too unavailable. Like, you can make eye contact before 17.5 days, but don’t make like, “needy” eye contact. Do you understand? Amanda: Lizzie...

University student purchases first pair of winter boots after experiencing PA climate

University student purchases first pair of winter boots after experiencing PA climate

Courtney Wren, Satire Editor

November 3, 2016

Breaking: University student Bea Breakiron ’20, who hails from Manhattan Beach, Calif., claims the weather has finally forced her to purchase a pair of rain boots. “I was trying to see how long I could go wearing just my Birkenstocks. I made it pretty far, I’d say. I mean, it’s November—...

The List: Reasons we applied Early Decision

Julia Friedman, Contributing Writer

November 3, 2016

1. We probably wouldn’t have gotten in otherwise. 2. That's really it.

Students launch petition to remove ‘trump’ from vernacular

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

October 28, 2016

After witnessing the success of an unnamed social organization’s GoFundMe campaign to raise money for a glorified mess of two-by-fours during Homecoming Weekend, another group of University students began a petition on Change.org to remove the word “trump” from the American public’s everyday...

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