The Bucknellian

The List: Things you lost and then posted about online that won’t be returned

Julia Friedman, Staff Writer

February 2, 2017

1. Your Illesteva Leonard Tortoise sunglasses. 2. Your Prada sunglasses.  They were a birthday gift. 3. Your other sunglasses. 4. Your insulated tumbler cup. 5. Your Beats by Dr. Dre headphones. 6. Your iPad Mini. 7. Your FENDI water pipe. 8. Your winter jacket, that was last seen in the microwave at the...

The List: Events with higher attendance than Trump’s inauguration

Courtney Wren & Madeline Diamond, Satire Editor & Senior Editor

January 26, 2017

A middle school chorus concert The grand opening of the new Perkins in Lewisburg Any given performance of “Hamilton” The Hollywood premiere of “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” Amami on Sunday mornings A kindergarten graduation ceremony Sushihanna on Frid...

The List: Google search history of a college senior

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

December 1, 2016

How to get a job Is it possible to take too much Advil? What does it mean if my pee is really yellow? What is “wealth management?” Do giraffes sleep standing up? Can you die from a hangover? Is it weird to want to be alone all the time? How long is too l...

The List: Discussion topics for Thanksgiving dinner

Madeline Diamond and Courtney Wren

November 17, 2016

The presidential election The fact that Vanna White and Pat Sajak from “Wheel of Fortune” still haven’t gotten married 24,000+ piece puzzles Recreational drug use Religion and its inclusivity Billy Joel’s ability to still tour at the age of 67 T...

The List: Donald Trump’s post-election to-do list

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

November 11, 2016

1. Move out of Trump Tower and New York. 2. Actually learn about foreign and domestic policy. 3. Not grab women by the p*ssy. 4. Pay women not to talk about how he grabbed them by the p*ssy. 5. Learn how to say the word “huge” correctly. 6. Find the right pen to fit into his tiny hands to ...

The List: Reasons we applied Early Decision

Julia Friedman, Contributing Writer

November 3, 2016

1. We probably wouldn’t have gotten in otherwise. 2. That's really it.

The List: Sights we saw at The Hunt

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

October 20, 2016

  Women taking Instagram photos in turtlenecks, suede skirts, and mirrored sunglasses Men in identical plaid button ups, khakis, and Timberland boots People drinking bottles of champagne while standing in the sunroof of Range Rovers Frye boots (or boots of equal or greater value) c...

The List: Appropriate places for seniors to look for post-graduation jobs

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

October 6, 2016

1. Roommate’s CEO mother 2. “Help Wanted” signs 3. Previous intern supervisor’s sister’s nephew’s company 4. Father’s best friend’s company 5. Best friend’s father’s company 6. Last week's match on Tinder 7. The bartender at Townie T. 8. Sister's ex-boyfriend 9. Cat’s groomer ...

The List: Thoughts we had during the debate

Madeline Diamond, Senior Editor

September 29, 2016

Lester, wherefore art thou, Lester? Donald Trump is wearing blue and Hillary Clinton is wearing red, subliminal messaging much? Psych 101 really paid off. That power suit, though. What highlighter is Trump wearing? This must be what it’s like to be a woman in the business world. ...

The List: 8 ways to make the University a better place

Julia Friedman, Special Features Layout Editor

September 22, 2016

1. Gather up all unattended items at the library and turn them in to the Switchboard! Someone will be so happy to have their stuff returned to them. 2. Hold the door for everyone, even at that awkward distance where you have to wait just a few seconds too long and the other person has to sprint. 3....

The List: Things we would rather do than go to the Bison at noon

Courtney Wren and Carolyn Hickey

September 15, 2016

Shave our right eyebrows Go to prison Get a splinter Take two exams in a row Make small talk with a professor before class Wait in line at an uphill register in January Recruitment (practice and the real thing) Solicit our peers to buy MGMT 101 products Be someone's proxy...

The List: Things that take longer than Brock Turner’s jail sentence

Madeline Diamond and Courtney Wren

September 8, 2016

1. The mailroom line during syllabus week 2. Working with the Office of Global & Off-campus Education 3. Connecting to SafeConnect 4. Opening your campus mailbox 5. Finding an empty treadmill at the gym 6. Walking from the South Campus Apartments to downtown 7. The stoplight on...

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