The Bucknellian

Jon Meier
Creative Writing and Political Science ’20

 
Jon was born during the intersection of a shooting star and the taping of a Mitch Hedberg special. He joined the Bucknellian as a joke and somehow found his way to the top as its head joke writer. His future plans include being reincarnated as Anderson Cooper’s sole black hair.

Jon Meier, Satire Content Editor

Apr 26, 2018
J. Cole album arrives just in time for hypebeasts (Story)
Apr 19, 2018
University’s most failed alumni: where are they now? (Story)
Apr 05, 2018
China includes ‘White Privilege’ among new tariffs imposed on U.S. (Story)
Apr 05, 2018
The List: Thoughts high schoolers have on admitted students day (Story)
Mar 29, 2018
Trump invites leaders of China and North Korea to play squads on Fortnite (Story)
Mar 08, 2018
Chief of Staff John F. Kelly turns to Tinder for new hires (Story)
Mar 01, 2018
Kushner’s security clearance downgraded from top secret to “high school senior” (Story)
Mar 01, 2018
Professors get creative with new integrated perspective courses for fall 2018 (Story)
Feb 22, 2018
Jesus Christ arises too early, caught on wild night out (Story)
Feb 22, 2018
Five ways to get that spring break body in 2 weeks (Story)
Feb 15, 2018
Single student buys all of the University’s singing valentines (Story)
Feb 08, 2018
University club ruins local dog naming contest (Story)
Feb 01, 2018
Knitted goods kingpin arrested in Vedder Hall (Story)
Jan 25, 2018
Fraternity brothers invent first level 5 autonomous vehicle (Story)
Nov 30, 2017
Religious studies department releases holiday album (Story)
Nov 16, 2017
Senior discovers international roommate is fluent in English (Story)
Nov 16, 2017
Jon’s Declassified: Holiday Edition (Story)
Nov 09, 2017
Former high school valedictorian takes the SAT to regain confidence (Story)
Oct 26, 2017
Jon’s Declassified, Volume III: Good questions, bad advice (Story)
Oct 19, 2017
Bucknell announces varsity Spikeball team (Story)
Oct 19, 2017
The List: Things to say to convince your friends that you like sports (Story)
Sep 28, 2017
Jon’s Declassified: Good Questions, Bad Advice (Story)
Sep 21, 2017
Parent banned from future Family Weekends for making too many dad jokes (Story)
Sep 07, 2017
Sorority chants accidentally summon demon (Story)
Aug 31, 2017
Earthquake attributed to nationwide cringe during Game of Thrones season finale (Story)
Aug 31, 2017
Five books to reference to impress your college friends (Story)
Apr 06, 2017
First-Year student with Bible-thumping parents listens to Lil Wayne’s entire discography (Story)
Mar 02, 2017
Fat Tuesday files for legal name change (Story)
Feb 23, 2017
Investigative report: Student secretly added excess amounts of Lanthil-Oxatin-Vernyl-Ethylene (L.O.V.E.) to food on campus (Story)
Feb 10, 2017
Donald Trump incapacitated by Chipotle because he refused to admit he wanted mild instead of hot salsa (Story)
Feb 02, 2017
Electronic devices equipped with artificial intelligence achieve sentience to speak out against Muslim ban (Story)
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