“You are a 10/10, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

“You are perfect the way you are—don’t change for anything.”

“Self Love: you are unique and valid—don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

These mantras, seemingly everywhere and constantly purported by society and mainstream media today, promote the idea of self-love and acceptance. They push the idea that you are perfect just as you are and to not let anyone tell you otherwise. This idea is continuously affirmed in ads, marketing campaigns and brand messaging. Seemingly harmless, self-love is only a positive, self-care, feel-good dopamine rush, right? But I have always been confused by the idea of accepting yourself solely on the logic that you are “good enough.”

Because, am I? 

In all honesty, I think part of the human experience is evolving and realizing that I am actually not enough, but only for right now, because there are always things I can do. There are new habits to implement and routines to mirror that can help me achieve the best version of myself. 

The disposition of a human comes with many flaws and setbacks. As Carol Dweck, author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” would advocate, these challenges can be the catalyst for growth and improvement because you are not forever “stuck” at anything, whether it be in life, sports, academics, etc. 

Suppose one was to get a 70 percent on a physics exam. In that case, there is no denying that the student’s intrinsic value has changed for the worse, yet simply falling back on saying “I am good enough” will likely not change the sinking feeling of disappointment caused by the 70. Instead, studying more or asking for help for the next test will.  

Furthermore, the modern culture’s apparent facade can harm individuals’ mental health. Acknowledging our complexity is crucial, and using shallow self-love and affirmations to gloss over our emotions or setbacks is akin to trying to fix a leaking faucet with Scotch tape.

Especially with the constant flow of content on social media, it’s all too easy to become engrossed in the world of digital utopia and lose touch with reality.

Evidently, one should strive to be content with themselves, but through the values they hold, interests they have, communities they are a part of, etc. 

But I diverge when it comes to the constant commercial push of “you are good enough.”

In my opinion, it should be phrased as: “You can be so much more.”