Feeling like your brain is fried? Want to put something on to watch and not have to think? Look no further! “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is one of your best options. The show revolves around eight Mormon women who are either married or in a committed relationship. It checks all of the boxes for a mind-numbing reality television show. First, there are many people who look very similar, to the point that you can hardly tell the difference between them. Second, the decisions they make are so ridiculous that you might feel smarter by the end, or at least more secure in your friendships. Lastly, the drama and tea spilling is top-tier— so good it makes you grip your seat. But if you’d rather save yourself from the spoilers, this might not be the article for you.
I do have to preface: I went in not knowing anything about the Mormon religion, and everything that I now know is from the show. One thing I learned is that Mormons are not allowed to drink coffee, so they drink soda. Lots of soda. Like 44 oz. worth of soda a day. And then, they add sugar-free syrups and cream to the soda. To put it into perspective, 44 oz. of soda is about four cans of soda. These women are single-handedly keeping Swig, a soda parlor, alive and in business. But at least I know that if all else fails in my life, I’ll go open up a Swig in Utah.
But drinking a copious amount of soda is one of the least bizarre parts of the show, because the whole point of the show is to repatch relationships that have been broken or strained. So, how did they get that way? The drama begins with the infamous Taylor Paul, who went live on TikTok to announce that she divorced her husband because he cheated on her with one of her friends and (you might need to sit down for this one) then exposed that the main people who run MomTok (Mormon mom TikTok group) all partake in “soft swinging,” which refers to one couple switching partners with another to hook up, without going “all the way.” I was shocked, to say the least. She aired everyone’s dirty laundry in front of the whole world!
While she had just announced that she was getting a divorce, the whole world was more interested in how they all decided to cheat on each other… with each other. It’s a huge friend-cesspool. Whitney Leavitt, one of the moms, was so distraught that she uprooted her whole family and moved to Hawaii to get away from the “drama.” But guess what? Whitney then admitted that she used Taylor as a scapegoat, when she actually moved because her marriage with her husband Connor was rocky, and they needed to get away and “heal.” Someone get her the worst friend award!
What made this relationship so “rocky”? Well, her husband Connor was then dealing with Tinder allegations. After attempting to deny that he was on Tinder and messaging people, Whitney admitted that her husband was on Tinder anyway, saying that she was “so embarrassed” and “didn’t want people to find out.” And then, just to keep you guessing, the show begins with Whitney and Connor moving back to Utah.
You know what else is rocky? The hair, makeup and outfits of the Mormon wives. Why was I able to see the hair extensions? Whoever did them needs to be fired. And the blush blindness is crazy. I know it’s a reality television show, but it’s as if they forgot they’d be in front of a camera. Not to mention Zac Affleck’s, husband of Mormon wife Jennifer Affleck, hair. It looks like a founding fathers’ powdered wig, at best. Who looked at him and said, “Yeah, he looks good, mic him up”?
Bad hair, a husband on Tinder, tea spilling on TikTok live and copious amounts of soda later, you have survived “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” highlights. I’d love to say that’s all, but what I’ve told you isn’t even the half of it. I do recommend watching the show because you truly have to see it for yourself. It is an experience that I wish I could have again for the first time. Before I tell you too much, I’ll make like Whitney did and dramatically exit the group chat.
