Between Melissa threatening to “eat someone’s a–” (a hypothetical about a bear, though that doesn’t make it any less weird) and Frank eating seasoned compost, the “Abbott Elementary” x “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” crossover was a refreshing dose of chaos. Seeing the Paddy’s Pub gang in a school setting felt like watching a disaster unfold in real time— naturally, the only way they’d be volunteering is through a court-mandated order. Honestly, I’m shocked they were allowed within 500 feet of children after the crack addiction, “The Nightman Cometh” and, well, just existing as themselves.

But hey, stranger things have happened!

Dee actually showed some natural teaching ability—if you count sporting a balding grey wig and fake electrocuting herself to demonstrate Benjamin Franklin’s influence. It was all going great until she said she went to Penn State. Yes… Dee went to college. There’s no way in hell she graduated. Her habit of being attracted to men who don’t like her also remained intact. Her interest in Gregory wasn’t exactly shocking—if you remember the “It’s Always Sunny” pilot episode, “The Gang Gets Racist.” Enough said.

I fully expected Frank to do something obscene in Mr. Johnson’s closet—maybe washing himself in the sink with hand soap or setting up a bunk to “live” at Abbott until his hours were up. Instead, we got him composting with literal batteries because, according to him, plants love them. And of course, he had to taste-test it. This is the same man who once said he liked the taste of cat food, so honestly, dirt mixed with seasoning isn’t even that shocking.

By far, my favorite part of the episode was Charlie proving, once again, that he will never learn how to read. Watching him confidently misread the Industrial War as Innovative Wear made me momentarily lose faith in literacy programs. Then, after “graduating” from Barbara’s reading class, he still misread Guests on the gym scoreboard as Ghosts, vowing to never come back because Abbott was haunted.

Charlie Kelly, ladies and gentlemen. Congratulations, I guess.

The episode fit seamlessly into “Abbott Elementary’s” usual comedic style, but I wish it had leaned a little more into “It’s Always Sunny’s” signature degeneracy. I get that “Abbott” has a different audience, but this was a golden opportunity to introduce a new generation to the absolute chaos of the Paddy’s Pub crew.

That’s why I have even higher expectations for “It’s Always Sunny’s” half of the crossover. Mac running errands for Ava is hilarious on its own, but I need to know what Dennis did to land himself in this situation. Because let’s be real—Dennis Reynolds, a man with a god complex and a self-proclaimed mastery of manipulation, wouldn’t be scared of a school setting unless there was some deeply morally gray reason behind it. My money’s on him trying to weasel out of jury duty by forging credentials, falsely claiming he was an educator and somehow getting caught in an elaborate scheme that involved gaslighting an entire courtroom. And now, here he is, paying his debt to society in the most humiliating way possible.

“Abbott” gave us a warm, slightly chaotic introduction, but “It’s Always Sunny” will deliver the crime, the corruption and the deeply concerning life choices.

Go Birds!