Keep on Slumping

Emma Sheehy, Contributing Writer

Most high school students are well-aware of the national phenomenon called “senioritis,” where the subjects, after nailing down their matriculation, fail to do anything at the high school which they had been a slave to for four years. This includes a lot of sudden illnesses, missing class, using bathroom passes to meet up with friends, and sneaking past “Jorge”–the scary-looking but amicable security guard who would continue to ask why you return to the school after graduation when coming to your younger brother’s baseball games–thought you had gotten rid of me, didn’t you Jorge?

What is not talked about as much is the inevitable college “sophomore slump.” After a full year of trotting around Lewisburg, long gone is the glitz of your first experience of fried mac ’n’ cheese at the Bison and staying up too late with your first-year hall. Now, if you are an upperclassman, this piece is not that applicable–get back to those job applications–but if you are a freshman reader, let me warn you about the joy that will come.

First, start with food. By now you have exhausted every option in the Bison or designated fraternity (because let’s face it, no one eats at the Caf without the promise of Goo cake). You also get pretty lazy when it comes to deciding what to eat, and remain still unable to decide after pacing long enough for your friends to show up so you don’t have to sit alone. You also might get to the point where you have gotten over the guilt of buying bottled water because forget the environment. (That being said, I apologize because I’m pretty sure I am responsible for 60 percent of the bottled purchases on this campus). You also fail to care that the Bison may be the biggest scam on this side of the Mason-Dixon line, charging $1.25 for a cup of hot water.

You will also find many ways to incorporate pajamas or sweatpants into your attire. This is highly encouraged by classroom temperatures, particularly on a Thursday 8 a.m. in Academic West where, despite being cold, you never bother to tell the professor, because, I mean, who speaks in class anymore? This also goes beyond the classroom and into the nighttime scene. Mixer? Sweatpants. Formals? Fancy printed sweatpants. Register? It’s probably going to be hot, so cutoff sweatpants–because face it, if you’re a sophomore girl who’s lost her charm, no way you’re waiting in those lines anymore.

If you do end up as a second semester sophomore with freshmen in Management 101, then this is especially tricky. Thrust into a classroom full of kids who still use their high school senior portrait as their profile picture, it’s easy to feel lost in a sea of eager youngsters. However, you can be reminded of your true power with the knowledge that Open Suites is coming up.

Next comes procrastination. As college students, we have mastered this practice, having fine-tuned it since elementary school. The problem is that you are older now, and with the unreliability of Netflix breaking down every 20 minutes, you might find yourself procrastinating in ways you didn’t think were possible. These include cleaning to convince your best friend from freshman year that living with you wasn’t a mistake, as well as stalking your own Facebook page for pictures of yourself at your high school prom (pre-Freshman 15).

So, if you are slumping, don’t fret, because you are not alone. Students at the University, and at every other college, are aware of this difficult period and have created the perfect activity at the perfect time following the sophomore slump–a junior year semester abroad.

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