While using the language of a five-year-old isn’t uncommon for University students, all of the nonvoters on campus have broken records this week with their signature complaints without action. 

The leader of the Susquehanna Terminus “I’m Not Knowledgeable, Yeah!” Club (STINKY) is Jane Butts ’21. This group, whose members unironically call each other “STINKY-heads,” pride themselves on their failure to vote. Their group’s slogan, adopted earlier this year at an Organizational Review Board (ORB) hearing, was “You know you’re STINKY if you don’t vote!”

“Look. We genuinely can’t think of one good reason to vote. We don’t care about the world around us. We don’t care about the well-being of our neighbors, friends, parents and community members. We don’t want our voices to be heard, but we do want the right to complain about how things are anyways. Is that too much to ask?” Butts said.

The STINKY-heads (they said I could call them that) have organized a massive “de-register to vote” rally, without masks or social distancing, at 3 a.m. on the Malesardi Quadrangle. Butts told The Bucknellian that “the fact that we will not be using masks or social distancing is really indicative of our electoral and social intelligence on all issues. We STINKY-heads just want to make sure as few people actually exercise their civic duty, that millions of Americans before them have fought for, as possible.”

“At our last meeting, we discussed how easy it is to find information about who to vote for,” Butts said. While we know that we can seamlessly find out with whom we agree most on policy from websites like iSideWith or the League of Women Voters, we choose to ignore it. That’s because we care about ourselves so much that we won’t take 15 minutes out of one day to figure out who we should vote for. And we know our vote won’t matter, even though Pennsylvania is a swing state and has ‘incredibly important’ elections.”

“Now you don’t have to even pay postage in Pennsylvania if you want to mail in your ballot. We think that’s stupid because we think you should have to pay to vote. Because making people pay to vote has absolutely never had negative consequences in the past,” Butts said.

Historically, oppressed Americans, such as women and people of color, were denied the right to vote. Now, while our nation still has problems ensuring every eligible American can vote, we’re left with STINKY-heads too.