A Boogie Wit No Hoodie

Bridgette Simpson, Contributing Writer

November 14, 2019

Last Friday, the student-run concert committee brought in two stellar acts to perform: the popular SoundCloud legends responsible for the “Big Bootie” mixes, Two Friends, as well as popular rapper, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, known for his hits “Drowning” featuring Kodak Black and “Swervin” featuring...

Kyle’s Korner: Thanksgiving break

Kyle Putt, Graphic Artist

November 14, 2019

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Secret society hosts Ouija-Epstein event in Rooke Chapel

Nick DeMarchis, Staff Writer

November 14, 2019

Early last Sunday morning, Rooke Chapel hosted a service unlike any other. Famous for its annual Candlelighting and First Night services, Rooke stands as the physical embodiment for those who search for life’s toughest questions. These include, “Why am I here?,” “What’s the right thing to ...

A case of Jack Frost messages

Alyssa Endres, Contributing Writer

November 14, 2019

With the temperature dropping and the holidays fast approaching, an influx of snow flurries and frost have come and made their presence known on campus.  A series of messages have been discovered on car windshields in the parking lot by the library. These incidents are repeated in patterns, with eac...

Sad boi season

Liz Whitmer, Staff Writer

November 14, 2019

As the cold weather sets in, University students are getting excited to spend the next months in big sweaters, fuzzy socks, and the grips of the winter blues. Here is an easy guide to accelerating your rapid decline into the crippling sadness that will take over your life for the next three months.   Make a ...

Roaring at the gates

Matt Drescher, Contributing Writer

November 14, 2019

You’re ready, so close you can taste it. Woke up early to seize this day. No chance you’re gonna waste it.   You’ve been practicing, been prepping For that moment, the sweet victory. You’ve put the hours and the sweat in.   The gates are faceless. The matador...

Kyle’s Korner: Course Registration

Kyle Putt, Graphic Artist

November 8, 2019

Comic by Kyle Putt, Graphic Artist

Freshman vs. Senior GroupMe

Bridget Beljan and Amy Schlussler, Satire Co-Editors

November 8, 2019

Christmas music cases divisive split throughout University

Liz Whitmer, Staff Writer

November 8, 2019

Although Election Day has passed, people across the country are still in the midst of a heated debate that plagues the nation every year: the appropriate time to begin listening to Christmas music.  The age-old question has been a pressing matter for decades, but with no comprehensive resolution in...

Two Friends become Two Enemies

Bridget Beljan, Satire Editor

November 8, 2019

BREAKING NEWS: Two Friends are no longer on speaking terms.    The Friends have decided that despite the current status of their relationship, the University show must go on. They can’t let A Boogie or the students down, although there is no telling how their tiff will play out on stage.  ...

How to get the best use out of your last two brain cells

Bridgette Simpson, Contributing Writer

November 8, 2019

  Have them fight to the death–Battle Royale!  Wait in the stir fry line until you get to the front and then decide you want a quesadilla.   Destroy them both by drinking copious amounts of alcohol at this week’s Super. Have them argue over whether you’ll get hot or cold coffee this ...

Billy Goat uncovers cruelty while people-watching at University

Liz Whitmer, Contributing Writer

October 31, 2019

A local resident from Ard’s Farm, Billy Goat, took a trip to the University this weekend to take part in seasonal activities, including people-watching on campus.  Goat, who is held within the confines of the farm for the entirety of the season, made a run for it Saturday morning to indulge in the fe...