The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

2024 Commencement Student Speaker: Lea Tarzy
Alexandra Slofkiss: 2024 Commencement Soloist
Outstanding Senior Award: Bernadette Maramis
Excellence in Diversity and Inclusion: Gloria Sporea

Excellence in Diversity and Inclusion: Gloria Sporea

May 10, 2024

Excellence in Athletics Award: Meghan Quinn

Excellence in Athletics Award: Meghan Quinn

May 10, 2024

Excellence in the Arts Award: Joselyn Busato

Excellence in the Arts Award: Joselyn Busato

May 10, 2024

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Turkey dreams to exam schemes: Thanksgiving oasis turns into academic odyssey

The close of Thanksgiving Break at Bucknell University is like being yanked from a cozy, gravy-scented dream into a chilly calculus nightmare. The transition is less like a graceful ballet and more like a turkey attempting a tightrope walk. Just a day ago, students were the undefeated champions of the family dinner table, skillfully dodging Aunt Martha’s interrogation about their dating lives while piling their plates high with grandma’s legendary stuffing. Now, they’re like Indiana Jones in the dusty, forgotten tombs of their textbooks, pondering if a ‘turkey coma’ could be a medically valid reason to skip finals. 

Thanksgiving at home was a magical escape to the good old days. The students feasted on homemade delicacies that bore no resemblance to the dorm food, which often tasted suspiciously like recycled gym mats. They sprawled in their old beds, reminiscing about simpler times when their biggest worry was the school dance, not the dreaded group project where no one did their part. 

But the return to Bucknell? It’s like being thrown into an icy lake of academic despair. The warm glow of Thanksgiving is quickly replaced by the cold, hard truth that finals are on the horizon. The campus, once a picturesque postcard of fall tranquility, now resembles a scene from “The Hunger Games,” where the tributes are armed with laptops and fueled by a dangerous cocktail of panic and Red Bull. 

The libraries, usually as quiet as a mouse tiptoeing around on Christmas Eve, are now buzzing ecosystems of frazzled students. Bent over their textbooks, they resemble Sherlock Holmes on a bad day, trying to decipher cryptic clues in a sea of notes. “Was this always in Klingon, or is it just me?” mutters a student, squinting at their notes as if they might suddenly make sense if stared at long enough. 

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Over in the dining halls, where holiday cheer once reigned, a parade of caffeine zombies now shuffle through. Their plates are a far cry from the Thanksgiving feast, now hosting a sad ensemble of instant ramen and stale coffee. “’Ray Bucknell” jitters a student with a face of despair, stirring their coffee with a pen because, let’s be honest, finding a spoon is a challenge that requires more brain power than they can spare. 

As the dreaded finals week approaches, an unusual solidarity forms among the study-weary souls. They exchange tales of caffeine-fueled all-nighters and swap flashcards with the intensity of Wall Street brokers. Students navigate this treacherous terrain with a blend of humor, caffeine and the occasional tear, bonded together in the shared hope of making it through to winter break, where the only tests will be determining which Netflix series to binge first.

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    Yali AmsiliDec 22, 2023 at 9:39 am

    Got inspiration from chatgpt – thanks technology.

    Reply