The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

The weekly student newspaper of Bucknell University

The Bucknellian

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Students form the Bucknell Milk Society

Evelyn+Pierce%2C+Graphics+Manager+%2F+The+Bucknellian
Evelyn Pierce, Graphics Manager / The Bucknellian

Milk is the backbone of society. Literally. Without milk, where would citizens go to meet their daily calcium needs? Nowhere. Because there is no better source of calcium than milk, so without milk, society would crumble. Or at least develop a terrible case of scoliosis.

No, but actually, there are so many things that people love and depend on that either contain milk or come from milk. Coffee, ice cream, cheese, milkshakes… the list goes on and on. People love these foods, yet they rarely show appreciation for the milk that they originate from.

Two Bucknell students, Milkael Creamsworth ’27 and Chezy O. Gurt ’26, were fed up with the disrespect milk receives, so they decided to start their own club in its honor: the Bucknell Milk Society. Technically, The Society, as it is referred to by students, is not yet officially recognized by Bucknell simply because word hasn’t gotten around yet (at least that’s what the club founders tell themselves), and as a result, it doesn’t have enough members. Word did get around to one particular group of students though who, shockingly enough, decided to join the club: the lactose intolerants. 

People love to clown on those who are lactose intolerant. Some point to them and say that they’re evidence that evolution does not equal progress… that it’s possible to evolve backward. One student even recalled being asked, “How can you be lactose intolerant, bro? Just tolerate it.” However, even though they’re an easy target because of their weak, feeble stomachs, those who are lactose intolerant are some of the strongest-willed people you can meet. Who else would down a cup of coffee knowing that it’ll put them down for the count later? Who else would dive into a bowl of ice cream knowing that it will leave them sitting on a different kind of bowl for the next couple of hours? 

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Sure, the club has to meet in the bathroom because of them. And sure, it was a pain in the butt (not the kind caused by milk, though) for the club to get permission to do that and to work out the logistics of getting everyone into one bathroom. But at the end of the day, the club is alive because of the intolerants, and that’s all that matters.

Perhaps the reason that no one on campus joined The Society is because milk is an everyday thing to them; it certainly isn’t worth making a club for. For lactose intolerants, however, milk is much more than that, so when it was milk’s darkest hour and its club was about to go under like a cookie into, well, milk, it makes sense that it was them who came to the rescue. 

Maybe this goes to show that we can’t truly appreciate things until they’re gone… until we can’t have them anymore. So whether it’s your friends, an activity or something else entirely, be sure to show some love to whatever your “milk” is and not take it for granted.

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