Recently, the KLARC Center, the athletics facility here at the University, has implemented some new policies that have raised some eyebrows. Ever since the pandemic, the KLARC has been taking extreme precautionary measures by doing everything from mask requirements to changing the hours of operation. It is this latter change that has led to some confusion amongst students.

In an effort to reduce capacity in the facilities, the KLARC has changed its operating hours to 2-5 a.m. in an effort to “ensure student safety.” However, despite the early hours, the facility remains to be popular, especially amongst insomniacs. In a recent survey, 50 percent of students said that they get fewer than eight hours of sleep, 30 percent said they got eight hours or more and 20 percent did not understand the question (possibly due to extreme delirium induced by sleeplessness). 

This push to “ensure student safety,” however, has not gone as planned. Numerous students have complained about the new hours and have reported getting significantly less exercise as a result. As for the students who continue to go to the KLARC, things are even worse. Several injuries have already occurred as a result of students being fatigued. For instance, there have been multiple reports of students over-exerting themselves. One student claimed that they dropped a free weight on their big toe, completely crushing it. Another student reported that they saw their best friend completely faceplant on the treadmill because he couldn’t keep up with the conveyor belt. Luckily, public safety has been on top of these incidents.

As for students who do not use the KLARC for athletics, there have also been some interesting results. Students who use the area for studying and getting work done have expressed gratitude for the KLARC being open at these late hours. 

“This allows me to play more Monster Hunter during the day,” one student said, “so it’s really a win-win scenario.” 

Speaking of Monster Hunter, there have also been some disturbing sightings at the KLARC recently. Students have reported seeing things that aren’t quite usual. For instance, I once thought I saw a large figure with discolored skin, a hunched back and discolored teeth, but that might have just been me looking in the mirror in the bathroom. 

Regardless, the change in operating hours has certainly had both positive and negative effects, and we will be sure to report on any further developments.