Last Friday, the CAP Center hosted their annual Canoe Battleship Competition, and it was just as wet and wild as ever. It was also wackier than previous years since the event was held on April Fools Day, leading the CAP Center to add some surprise twists to the battle this time around. 

The first round went as smoothly as can be expected when you have 28 college students in seven canoes trying to sink each other in one pool. The Boating Babes and Wacky Water Waiters, who thematically wore button up shirts and bowties, were out pretty quickly. Then the team of four of the tallest guys I’ve ever seen, aptly named the Big Men, tipped their canoe over while trying to turn around. Team 5 and team “Yes, We Can Swim” had initially teamed up and were successful in the take down of the Rowing Boys, made up of some of the men’s rowing team. However, the two teams ended up taking each other out after Team 5 mistook “Yes, We Can Swim” for the Nymphs, who then won the first round. 

When the second round came around, stationary platforms were set up in the water, confusing the teams. It was explained that every ninety seconds a bell would sound and one member of each team had to use the platforms to get out of their canoe and into another team’s canoe. The teams of the four people left in the final boat would do a face off to decide the winner of the round. Naturally, the already chaotic competition got even worse, with teams getting hilariously mixed up and none of the competitors sure where to go when they had to switch teams. The finalists ended up being two members from Big Men, and one person from the Nymphs and Team 5 each. Big Men won the decisive battle, managing to not tip over their canoe this time around.

Finally, the third and final round rolled up and all the teams had no idea what to expect. But you wanna know what else rolled up? An authentic Viking ship! That’s right, an entire Viking ship named the Bison’s Call and her crew appeared in the pool. No one knows how it fit, but it did. Its main purpose was to cause distractions for the teams, the Vikings shouting and dumping water over the side to impede the team’s ability to attack each other. Despite all the challenges and Vikings in the way, Team 5 managed to pull a surprising win by just staying out of everyone else’s way. That final win allowed Team 5 to make it to first place for the whole competition, with the Nymphs coming in second and Big Men in third and then all the other teams being runners up. How points were awarded doesn’t matter, what does matter is how funny it was to see the teams push the judges into the pool, with permission of course.

Rumor has it that CORE plans to try out Real Monopoly next semester, in which students purchase all locally franchised food establishments to the end of defrauding their rivals.