With sorority recruitment coming to a close, Kappa Alpha Theta is preparing to make their new sisters feel at home. Each sorority has a day where they celebrate their sisterhood by posting photos on social media, with Theta’s being “Think Theta Thursday.”

“We really want our sisters to feel connected to one another, and to make the sorority their priority,” Sarah Ritty said. “Thinking Theta is a mindset, a way of life. When it began, it was meant to be a once-a-week thing, but it’s started to carry over into other days of the week… some of the sisters have mentioned that they can’t stop thinking Theta.”

There have been concerns that these infectious thoughts may begin negatively affecting other aspects of the sisters’ lives, but the sorority can’t risk the downfall of their power either.

“I’m hoping that I get a bid from Theta,” rushing sophomore Ben Lodge said. “Actually, I can’t stop thinking about it. You know those moments where you want to fall asleep but your brain is awake? Well my brain is awake thinking about Theta.”

“It was Wednesday afternoon, and I was already there,” Lodge continued. “I was already thinking Theta.” 

Some students are worried, scared even, that this hypnosis-like state may start expanding beyond just sorority members. Will everyone soon be thinking Theta? Will all Greek life eventually become one amalgamation of Theta-Thinkers? Who knows. 

If you are a student outside of the sorority that has experienced symptoms of thinking Theta, Student Health has requested you report to them for urgent examination.