After last month’s Bingo Blingo catastrophe the CAP Center sought redemption with its most recent late-night event. 

On September 30, the organization held its annual Casino Night in Uptown that featured free food, prizes and alcohol for those who were of age and/or flirted with the servers. 

Although attendance at campus activities is notoriously scarce, students eagerly piled into Uptown on the otherwise dreary Saturday evening hoping to get free drinks to pregame frats with. Upperclassmen dominated games of Texas Hold-em, roulette and Craps — many even forgot their agendas for the rest of the night and remained for the entirety of the event.

How wonderful! The CAP Center event coordinators have redeemed themselves! Or so they thought…

This celebration quickly shifted to panic when Bucknell officials recognized an unintended byproduct of exposing underaged students to casino games. Ever since Casino Night, those in attendance have been unable to stop themselves from gambling. Students did not limit themselves to the restrictions of pre-existing casino games; after all, the roulette wheels and craps tables were only available in Uptown. As a result, students have contrived ways to satiate their gambling itch through rather unorthodox means.

The first Vegas-esque gambling to invade campus was sports betting. One may think that drawing attention to Bucknell’s various athletic programs would be beneficial, perhaps increasing attendance at games and encouraging school spirit. However, this seemingly harmless practice has significantly demoralized Bucknell’s football players when no students were willing to place bets on their winning. 

The gambling disease was no longer contained within the pool of Casino Night attendees, proving more contagious than both frat flu and COVID combined. Students soon struggled to focus on their professors during class even more than they already did. 

“In diffyQs, the only number I can write now is 21,” Blacque Jack ’24 said, “It doesn’t matter what the solution to the equation is, I need 21 to beat the dealer, I mean professor.”

Chaos further ensued while students dared each other to perform dangerous tasks and placed bets upon their completion. Just before fall break, Slotma Chiné ’25 was carried from Bostwick via a stretcher after eating 13 hamburgers in pursuit of a $60 cash prize from her hallmates. 

President Bravman disclosed that four other students were rushed to the hospital this past week due to dining hall-related injuries inspired by gambling of this nature. 

If you or a tolerated acquaintance are experiencing symptoms of gambling addiction please visit the Counseling Center in-person or call the gambling hotline (1-800-522-4700) to schedule an immediate consultation.