Heresy! Campus Harry Potter event teaches real magic

Aaron Chin, Staff Writer

There’s no denying that the Harry Potter franchise is one of the most popular film franchises ever created. With seven books, eight movies and several spinoffs, including a very poorly plotted Broadway play, the Harry Potter franchise has garnered a lot of popularity with its fans. So naturally, this past Halloween weekend, the campus held a Harry Potter themed event complete with Butterbeer, stuff-a-plush and a viewing of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The event was a wild success… until things took a turn. 

One of the many fun activities that were offered were magic classes. These classes were intended to be nothing more than fun and fake lessons that were meant to give students the illusion that they were taking classes at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The fake class was taught by none other than the University’s very own Professor B. Flitwick, who, we are told, bears no relation to the Professor Flitwick that teaches Charms at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is not real (or so we think).

Anyways, Professor B. Flitwick taught students the famous Wingardium Leviosa spell that was seen in the first Harry Potter book and movie. However, one student actually managed to get the spell to work on another student, who we shall call “Fly Away Finneas.” Finneas promptly started levitating out of nowhere and floated away, up into the sky.

No one has seen Finneas since that night. On Monday, one of the astronomy classes went out to the observatory to see if they could get any Fly Away Finneas sightings. They found him, astonishingly; Finneas appeared to be just chilling on a cloud that looked like a pregnant Humpback Whale. 

This sighting started a movement. On social media, students have been posting #BRINGBACKFINNEAS and #JUSTICEFORFINNEAS all over the place. 

Professor B. Flitwick’s response to this has been evasive. Every time one of our reporters has approached him with a question, he appears to go underneath some sort of invisibility cloak and vanish into thin air. 

Administrative response to this incident has been admirable, with several administrative members saying that they were bullied in high school, so they know exactly what it is like to be floating thousands of feet above the Earth’s surface and stuck on a cloud. 

As always, we will keep you updated once any new information has been uncovered. #JUSTICEFORFINNEAS.

(Visited 30 times, 1 visits today)