Remember Halloweekend? Bucknell’s students have banned the national holiday from campus! Instead, they have replaced it with their own seasonal celebration — Halloweek.

During last week’s drunken seven-night Halloweek rally, students masqueraded as celebrities, movie characters, and animals alike that didn’t have any homework to complete or midterms to study for.

There is one golden rule that all observers of Halloweek must abide by: you cannot repeat a costume. This meant students needed eight different costumes, wearing one new costume Sunday through Friday and two on Saturday (one for Super during the day and one for frats at night). As punishment for those who dishonored the golden rule, Card Services electronically disabled student IDs for as many days as the student failed to wear a new costume. Fear instilled within them, Bucknell’s female student population contributed to over 30 percent of SHEIN’s total sales for the month of October.

The costumes that students wore were directly correlated with their likability on campus; they had to be simultaneously funny, creative and just revealing enough to attract the desired amount of attention. Of all their costumes, everybody was to display their best one at Super.

This year at Super, students did not disappoint. Not only were their costumes original, but they were practical, too! The 32 girls who wore Vector costumes were able to ward off Halloween ghosts with their Despicable Me ray guns. For the 26 guys who disguised themselves as Jesus, their faux beards kept their faces warm and absorbed any beer that had missed their mouths.

Speaking of beer, traditional kegs were replaced with festive pumpkins that were gutted by fraternity pledges and filled with Bucknell’s signature lukewarm booze. When the beer supply from the pumpkins was ultimately diminished, parched students searched for another source of sketchy alcohol. 

Good thing there was a student in a fully functional keg costume! Sophomore Nat E. Light was the legend who sported the look. His costume, 3D printed at the Seventh street Makerspace, came equipped with 25 gallons of lukewarm beer that he dispensed directly into Bucknellians’ mouths. Hundreds of students drinking from the same nozzle served as a bonding experience rather than a health-code violation. 

Light’s costume inspired a movement of alcohol-dispensing costumes that were seen on Monday, the last night of the Halloweek rally. One sorority, Pi Chai Latte, collectively dressed as nurses and accessorized with plastic syringes stolen from Student Health. They filled their syringes with Fireball, dispensing shots into students’ mouths throughout the night.

After Halloweek came to a close, biology teaching assistants swabbed the inside of Light’s keg costume straw and Pi Chai Latte’s syringes and found that they both contained 16 times less bacteria per square inch than Vedder’s air vents. When The Bucknellian reporters reached out to University officials regarding this statistic, they refused to provide any commentary or be quoted in this article.