Now that Bucknell students have sufficiently stuffed themselves over Thanksgiving break, it’s time to snap back into reality and prepare for the dreaded finals week. Students are struggling to remember what they learned before break, so they have lost confidence that they will perform well on finals.

Because of this, Bucknellians have adopted some unorthodox methods of preparing for their upcoming exams. Described below are three such methods:

1. Learning Morse Code 

Finals shouldn’t be taken independently! Professors who discourage communication during exams violate Bucknell’s mission statement that aims to “promote collaboration amongst students.” To combat this injustice, one way that students are getting ready for finals is learning Morse Code.

During exams, they plan to use the code to tap messages with their pencils to one another. These messages would then be translated into letters, words and phrases that spell out test answers. This week, students are checking books out of Bertrand for the very first time to pour over old textbooks and memorize the intricate patterns.

1. Forwarding Text Message Chains

“THIS IS THE GOOD LUCK GOD. SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 10 FRIENDS TO PASS YOUR TESTS. IF YOU DON’T, YOU WILL FAIL THEM ALL!”

Throughout our middle school days, chains like these spread faster than STD’s at Bucknell. Although we thought these chains were ancient history, they are making a comeback amongst college students in 2022. Are some students forwarding these messages solely to bother their friends? Probably.

However, many students truly believe that these messages will give them the luck that they need to pass their finals. Others don’t truly believe that this will grant them good luck, but are too scared to see what happens if they don’t follow through. Either way, I have received over 20 of these messages in the last hour alone.

3.       Manifesting

Fake it till you make it, right? As their last way to prepare for their upcoming finals, Bucknellians have resorted to blatant manifesting to ensure their success. Before going to sleep each night, participating students say the following affirmation in front of their bathroom mirror: 

“I will pass finals, I will pass my finals, please let me pass my finals.” 

Students congregate at exactly 11 p.m. each night and chant the affirmation together. RA’s have been receiving noise complaints from non-participants who are being angrily disturbed during quiet hours. Even so, students have not halted this ritual. These students will also gaslight their professors into raising their grades by repeating, “You made a mistake, of course I got an A on the final,” until their professors finally believe them.

Will any of these study methods prove effective? Only time will tell. For now, make sure to practice your Morse Code, spam your friends with text chains and repeat your affirmations!