What are you doing just standing there? You’ve got the right address, right? Well, come on in, don’t you want the “house tour”? Let’s go up to the first, second, third floor. And I promise none of this is a metaphor, I just want you to come inside … as we review Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, Man’s Best Friend!
So, uhm, are you coming in or what?
After the sweeping success of her 2024 album, Short n’ Sweet, fans and haters alike eagerly waited for what we would see next from the starlet. When I first heard Manchild, it was a snippet accompanied by a short dance on my daily TikTok scroll, a snippet that took over my feed and slowly ran the song into the ground for me. Similar in nature, but different in style, I was unsure if her new work would live up to Short n’ Sweet. However, after finding myself constantly singing about liking my boys all incompetent, I decided to listen to the song in full. After listening, what were once doubts for her upcoming album turned into anticipation for more.
The album begins with “Manchild,” prompting me to quickly grasp my headphones by the reins as I go through the stages of grief, realizing that the guy I thought was the exception is truly just like every other guy. Starting with denial, we make excuses for these guys and why they can’t give us what we want. Naturally, in this state a girl has no choice but to fantasize about the guy who would build IKEA chairs and bring a waterfall of different “tears.”
Then comes the crushing realization that my beloved manchild won’t put in effort for me because he doesn’t want to. He’s just not that into me, even with all that “sugar talking,” I find myself uttering to my tired friends, “we almost broke up again last night.” In an angry, wanting and depressed state, track 6 makes me question if there may in fact be “nobody’s son” out there for me. After a month of reflection, I could see that he wasn’t an awful guy; he was actually really kind, but maybe just not the guy for me. And I’m not angry about it, I wish him all the best, including a lifetime of happiness, alongside agoraphobia and a forever of “never getting laid.”
With new lenses, track 8, prompts me to do a double take, triple take at the guy I hadn’t noticed before, questioning, “When did you get hot?” On track 9, the days are shorter and nights are longer with bar crawls and a newfound endless thirst for some “go go juice.” Drinks are flowing, gums are a-showin and I’m just drinking to call someone, because some good old-fashioned fun sure numbs the pain, right? There’s playfulness here, but also realism: the temptation of rekindling something with an ex lingers, but the wiser voice says, run.
By the album’s close, after reflection, distractions and a few “house tours” of my own, I’m ready to say “goodbye.”
“Man’s Best Friend’s” beauty, in its cliché and disco spritzed fun, is its ability to relay a tale as old as time. It’s relatable in the unfortunate cases that you lose yourself in a relationship, compromise for someone who doesn’t do the same, cry, crash out, cry some more and then laugh at yourself. It’s young love distilled into sparkling pop. Additionally, it provides a commentary that we, as women in heterosexual relationships, can be complacent in men’s incompetent behavior; all of the second, third and fourth chances, believing the lies we know are so far from the truth enable men to continue this behavior unchecked. Sabrina’s response? Cut it off. Say goodbye. Arrivederci, au revoir or a good-old flip of the middle finger should do the trick. If he’s not giving you what you want, always know there is another man out there who will or better yet, the single girl in the mirror, who already knows how.
Well, that’s the tour. I suppose you can see yourself out. Goodbye! Get home safe!