Just when you think America’s seen it all with its fallen democracy, worsening economy and political anarchy, a new challenge has risen. Folks, we are in a male recession. Not only are more women taking up celibacy, and moreover, dumping boyfriends altogether, as famously spoken about in Vogue’s ‘Is Having A Boyfriend Embarassing Now?’ article written by Chante Joseph, but they’re also doing away with men in general. The newest craze, Sean Cook’s Tea app, has gained popularity and, in turn, controversy in the online dating world. I, however, don’t believe there is much controversy but instead a problem with men now reaping what they’ve sown.
The Tea app allows women to share the names, photos and recollections of experiences with men they’ve met either in real life or on dating apps, warning other women about the dangerous men often hiding behind the profiles being “swiped right” on. Sounds like a good idea, especially in the digital age where one can never really know who they’re dealing with until they’re face-to-face and often, already in a dangerous situation. However, as men began to face repercussions of their bad behavior, social shunning, whispers, stares and lack of dates, the Tea app started to gain negative traction. Out of anger for turning women off with their serial-ghosting, cheating or other forms of emotional, physical and mental violence, instead of changing that behavior, they banded together, like poorly arched vigilantes, behind the TeaOnHer app.
TeaOnHer, developed by Newville Media Corporation, was launched in response to women sharing the tea on their negative experiences with men. Now, what makes Tea and TeaOnHer different is the intention behind their creations and how the ideas have been executed. While TeaOnHer presents itself as an app geared towards “dating safety” for men, in actuality, it is used to spread gossip and intimate details of the relationships of its users with women. And yes, obviously, there have been accounts of gossip on the Tea app and misuse of it, but that is a small fraction of users. A small fraction which have incited a green light in men to continue the behavior that got them in trouble in the first place.
This ‘gender war’ incited between the apps reflects the dark truth of modern-day dating: we’ve lost the art of love. There’s a reason why men feel emboldened to use and discard women like objects, why they aren’t finding connections in their self-proclaimed ‘loneliness epidemic’ and why women think having these relationships with men is humiliating. There is no more romance; people have short attention spans, don’t want to commit and sadly, don’t know how to love. On top of that, we live in a society where men are constantly rewarded for bad behavior and women are punished for speaking out against it, case in point; the reprisal of women who spoke out during the #MeToo movement, or even on a grander scale, world leaders like Donald Trump and former prince Andrew Mountbatten Windsor who have somehow discarded their friendship bracelets with Epstein. Allowing such men to be in high positions of power, despite their wrongs, sends a signal to men everywhere that human decency is no longer the bare minimum to succeed.
Ever since the reelection of President Trump in 2024, it appears there has been a co-signing of acceptance for bigotry, violence and hate. Men feel entitled to women, thus the rise of the red pill content online and dreaded male podcasters, but more scarily, see themselves as marginalized victims in society. And what is more scary than a man who feels he’s been wronged, especially by a woman? It’s this scarcity mindset that has been steering women away from desiring relationships. With women focusing their attention on their careers, friendships and families, men have begun to feel the pressure. And we’ve seen what happens to men under pressure: they crack. Consequently, a self-implosion and spike in hatred (or envy, but that’s another discussion for another time) towards women.
There is no controversy over the Tea app; men are being held accountable and don’t like it. They are also facing the repercussions of their behavior, which means less fun for them. Although I am not a Tea app user, I support what the app was made for; yes, women should hold men accountable, yes, women should pivot their attention to themselves and yes, women should by any and every means necessary, keep themselves safe.