Once every few months, I cry to my mom. No matter what age I am, there’s always that breaking point where you need your parents to tell you that everything’s gonna be ok. Typically, I reserve those instances for very specific occasions– breakups, bad grades, friend drama … little things like that.
The last time I broke down to my mother was two weeks ago, when I sat on the couch, teary-eyed and depressed over every college student’s current worst nightmare: summer internships. Gently, she patted me on the back, reassuring me that even if I don’t get a position this summer, it’s not the end of the world.
So let me remind you exactly why it’s the end of the world.
As of late, getting an internship, let alone even a part-time job at the scummiest restaurant on the block, has been the new Mission Impossible. In order to enter the real world, you need to, first, gain your connections and, second, lose your pride.
The summer after my freshman year of college was when I realized just how truly absurd earning a paycheck, any paycheck, has become. Genuinely. If you think you’re on time, you’re already too late, because that application for the 2030 accountant internship at PNC Bank needs to be sent in no later than January of 2024. And you’d better make sure you have forty references, eight years of experience, and three degrees before then.
Furthermore, on the rare occasion that you think you’re early, you’re probably not going to hear back at all. Corporate America will ghost you harder and quicker than the situationship who said they loved you– and it’ll probably hurt more. Unless you have a spy on the inside tracking every movement of your resume, you might as well just pack it up; you aren’t getting that job. Because here’s the thing: the only way to make it to the top of the application pool is to climb the people who came before you. I’ve been in contact with a fourth cousin twice removed on the other side of the country. Yeah, maybe I have no idea who she was in relation to me (I had to Chat GPT our family lineage just to find out), but I do know that she has a friend in LA working at a publishing firm … so I’m gonna send that email.
When it comes to applying for internships, you need to drop all your pride off a cliff. If you’re a nice person, be nicer. Be so nice that they start to feel bad that they don’t respond to the email asking if they’ve gotten a chance to look at your application, then the email asking if they saw the email about the email, and then the phone call inquiring if they’ve gotten your emails. Hound them. Don’t let them pass by the resume you pulled several all-nighters just to make possible.
Obviously, past employment and accomplishments do, thankfully, come into play when acquiring an internship. Everyone knows the famous last words: “We’re looking for someone with more experience.” Personally, I’m currently a single mom who works three jobs (literally, I have a hamster at home to feed). On top of that, I’m overloading on classes, so I can check the “yes” box when applications ask if I have a minor. But I know the engineer sitting next to me probably has it worse than I do, and the student reading this in between several interviews at once has it even worse than both of us combined.
We’ve all been stacked against each other to be the best– to compete for the best major, the best experience, the best connection. But it’s gotten absolutely out of control. And if you go and ask your mom or dad or aunt or uncle or older cousin or grandparents or great-grandparents how they got a job, you know what they’re gonna tell you: “Oh. I just applied!”
Right … Here’s a thought: let’s bring that back!