Sleeping Around: Finals Fornication

By Stacey Lace

Columnist

With dreary weather and finals weighing us down, we shouldn’t completely ignore the upcoming farewell sex season. It’s a great opportunity to blow off a little pre-winter break steam.

As we enter the Yule season with the hopes of snow and presents, let’s hope for a bit of action in the bedroom to keep us from getting bored.

What better way to prepare ourselves for break than with a little bit of steamy finals sex?  Take a short break from studying notes for your Human Sexuality final and do a little practical studying. Even if you’re not taking anything related to anatomy, a spicy hiatus from the library can do us all some good.

Let’s be clear; I’m not saying that you should all run out and have sex with anyone willing just because you’re stressed out by finals week, but tapping it a little more frequently leading up to break may help to relieve your tension.

For those of us in committed relationships, a month can seem like a long time to be away from our sig. figs. (significant figures/others). My thought is that you might as well do it while the opportunity exists so you don’t regret it when you’re stuck at home with only your hand to console you.

If you’re not dating somebody, finding a finals friend might not be a bad idea. What do I think is the ideal quality in a finals buddy? Isn’t it obvious? A similar exam schedule!

Don’t worry, my sexually active friends! If you already have a steady hookup, I haven’t forgotten about you. While you’ve kept it pretty casual for a while now, you too should make sure you’re getting some quality sheet time in since you’ll be stuck miles and miles apart. Even the late night “Hey, what’s up?” text won’t be able to bring you together over break.

In all seriousness though, sex is truly a great form of stress relief and endorphin release.  You and I both know of one professor we have that could use a good fuel injection. With that in mind, getting a little frisky in between finals isn’t such a bad idea.

Here’s an added bonus for the ladies: lowered stress causes fewer wrinkles! Men, less stress for you means you can hold off balding just a little bit longer. If these aren’t good reasons to take a roll in the hay, then I don’t know what is.

And a little sexual health tip just for the holidays — in December, don’t forget to gift wrap your member!

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