Sleeping Around: A Cosmo Life

By Stacey Lace


As a person in Cosmopolitan’s target demographic, it’s no surprise to anyone that every month I page through the magazine to check out the latest sex tips and tricks. After reading this month’s issue, I’ve found some things I’d like to share with you, my readers.

1. Katharine McPhee is sexy. I thought she was completely irrelevant, but now I realize she might be back on the rise. In Cosmo’s “How I Unleashed My Sexy Side,” McPhee filled me in on her go-to sex kitten look of jeans and a t-shirt. While I think that’s it’s nice for class, I have to say, I don’t get ogled when I wear that to a party. I’ll stick to my short, low-cut getups for hitting the parties and bars.

2. The Circle of 6 app is what’s up when it comes to dodging a guy. The app sends out a text at a single touch to let your friends know they need to save you from some greasy creeper. It also lets you instantly ask them for a ride or a phone call as well. I know I can’t wait to use it when I get into a sticky situation. Thanks for giving me a ride, girls!

3. Gynos have no boundaries. A gyno actually tried to set a woman up on a date with her son while “huddled over [her] vadge.”  Another ate lunch while doing an internal exam. You’re really going to get that invasive, doc?

4. Guys creep all over my new Facebook timeline. My boyfriend claims he doesn’t use FB. I believe him, but apparently other guys are looking at my “map” to see where I hang out. Good thing I have my Circle of 6 app for when they find me …

5. Costco is a hot date locale. I often frequent Costco with my parents when I’m at home, but I’m not sure it’s the sexiest place to have a date. Maybe some of Cosmo’s other “25 Fun–and Free–Things to Do With Your Guy” could work for me. Also, I don’t know that a trip to Costco has ever ended up being “free.”

6. People like to see what’s going on when they’re having sex. According to Cosmo’s “The Thing He’s Dying to See During Sex,” seeing yourself get it on “taps into [your] craving for sexual power.” The magazine recommends giving your guy a view as well as taking a peek yourself. Even going above the waist, I can only tell you one thing, directly from the mouth of a 20-year-old male student: “Boobs are cool. I want to see them.” Really, someone actually said this to me.

While it’s nice that women’s magazines are providing us with treadmill material, it seems to me that most of it is bullshit meant to make me buy next month’s issue.

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