The Lying Bison: Your Weekly Dose of Satire

New Courses in the Works

By Ethan Weber

The latest sounds coming from the Sigfried Weis Music Building are neither opera recordings nor the plucked strings of harpsichords, but rather rumors and chatter of a new course to be offered to University students. The course? MUSC 147: “Introduction to Caf Music.”

“For quite some time now, we in the Music Department have been becoming increasingly aware of a disturbing trend among Bucknellians,” Dr. Irving Carmichael said. “The majority of non-music majors possess little knowledge of music history prior to the 1990s.”

“They’re incredibly egocentric,” Prof. Stevland Manilow said. “If it’s from before they were born, it’s as if it was never written or received airtime. This became all too clear at last year’s Chrysalis when it was learned that a large percentage of University students didn’t know who The Village People, the featured act, were.”

“It was really embarrassing,” Carmichael said. “The one that dresses like a construction worker even had to correct the students on how to do ‘Y.M.C.A.’ It’s like these kids have never been to a wedding reception or anything.”

After surveying University students about their knowledge of 20th-century popular music,  Carmichael and Manilow observed that Bucknellians do seem to be familiar with some of the older songs played over the radio in Bostwick Dining Hall.

“They like Bon Jovi’s ‘Livin’ on a Prayer,’ The Commodores’ ‘Brick House’ and most things by Michael Jackson. Some of them even admit to not hating KC and the Sunshine Band’s ‘I’m Your Boogie Man,’ which plays in there several times a week,” Carmichael said. “Still, most of them didn’t know who many of these acts were.”

“We hope that by opening an intellectual dialogue about these songs, we can lessen students’ need for auto-tuning and dubstep,” Manilow said.

Even though this course is still only in the planning stages, it has already prompted a parallel movement within the English Department. There, professors are designing similar courses, ENGL 236: “Films and Television Shows That Premiered Before You Were Born but Are Nonetheless Iconic and You Should Really Be Familiar with Them,” and ENGL 240: “Paper and the Printed Word: Where Are They Now?”

Both departments hope to offer these courses by next semester.

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