Comedy Column: Some Possible Courses to Enroll in Next Semester

Will Luckey, Columnist

Well it’s that time of year again, the exhilarating week of course selection. A time filled with so much hope and so much anxiety. Will I end up with all 8 a.m. classes? All 1 p.m. classes? What classes are all the hot girls taking? Which are the easiest to cheat your way through? If I don’t get into Finance 332: Investment Banking, will I be poor forever? These are all important questions to be asking because course selection has an enormous impact on your life for the next four months and beyond. These are a few newer classes offered this semester that you might want to look into:

ENGL 125: Erotic American Literature: 1650-1850 – The course will cover the history of eroticism and smut in early American literature. Subject material includes “Crapping Where You Eat: A Memoir by Thomas Jefferson,” “Passion of the Pilgrims,” and “Frogging on the Frontier: Manifest Sex-tiny.”

ECON 340: Drinking Game Theory – Analyzing the mathematical models of conflict and cooperation between intelligent rational decision-makers engaged in drinking games.

HIST 150: History of Reality TV– Examines the cultural phenomenon of reality based television programming, starting from the 1970s hit: “An American Family,” exploring such classics as “Survivor: Borneo,” “Hard Knocks,” and will finish through modern times with “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Qualifies as a W2, no prerequisites.

ANBE 280: Endangered Animal Behavior: What They’re Doing Wrong – The course will examine some of the planet’s most exotic and endangered species and why they aren’t surviving. Students will observe such beloved creatures as the panda bear, manatee, and poison dart frog all die in their natural habitat due to man-made causes. Prerequisite: ANBE 104

MGMT 231: Incarceration Center Management – The course for management majors explores the growing industry of private incarceration centers. Students will tour various nearby facilities and learn the skills necessary to manage a maximum-security prison, including both women’s and juvenile detention centers. Final group project includes 12-day incarceration simulation.

CHEM 331: The Chemistry of Love – Course examines the chemical reactions involved in the human phenomena of love. Course will also look into controversies surrounding love, such if it is real and if it is forever. Prerequisite: CHEM 205.

CENG 400: Rebuilding My Marriage – Offered as a senior seminar for civil engineering majors, an intensive study in reconstructing a marriage with a solid structural foundation, but over 16 years of passive-aggressive erosion.

ASTR 290: Exploring Your Neighbors’ Household – Course uses on-campus observation equipment to study the personal lives of your neighbors while they think they are alone in their own home. We will examine if your wife is seeing Gary after all, and if the new guy Todd is an actual serial killer, or just looks like one. Cross-listed with anthropology.

PHYS 312: How Fast Can You Throw? – Course will examine how fast you can throw a baseball, softball, and football. Prerequisite: PHYS 204.

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