The Bucknellian

Student Speaks: “I Don’t Care About People’s Breaks”

Guy Efrat, Columnist

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As students return to the University after the long winter break, friends are reuniting and sharing their stories with one another. The campus is abuzz with laughs and intrigue as everyone is excited to see both friends and faculty. But for one student, this was not the case. University junior Dante Whiskey told us that he is tired of hearing people tell him about what they did over break.

“When I first got back to campus, I was excited to see all my friends as I had had a fairly boring break, mostly just sitting at home and watching Dog Whisperer. As I started seeing people throughout the school, I would say hi to them and ask them how their break was, you know, just to be friendly and whatnot. One friend told me about how her brother had grown two inches since the last time she saw him while another friend told me about his mom’s ‘scrumptious’ chicken cutlet recipe which I, of course, would never get the chance to taste. After hearing story after story after story, it suddenly hit me: I don’t care. Every story I heard would either bore me or make me jealous that my break was so boring so I figured, ‘why not just stop asking people about their breaks?’ And you know what, I did exactly that and now my life is way better and I have time to do so many more things, like watch Duck Dynasty!” Whiskey said.

Whiskey seems to be in great spirits now and wanted us to share his message with the world. “You don’t need to ask people about their breaks! I know none of you actually care. Next time you see a friend that asks you ‘How was your break?’ just look them right in the eye and say ‘You don’t give a damn!’ Everyone at this school, you’re welcome.”

If you or anyone you know wants to contact Whiskey and share winter break stories with him, his email is DaWhisk@bucknell.edu.

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Student Speaks: “I Don’t Care About People’s Breaks”