Comedy Column: Student Unknowingly Joins ISIS

Guy Efrat, Columnist

Last year, a group of students received the trip of a lifetime when they discovered they had been accepted to one of the abroad programs the University offers to students, Semester at Sea. These students boarded their cruise ship around Sept. 2014 hoping to enjoy the many wonders of the globe. After traveling through some of the most amazing countries in the world, including Brazil, South Africa, and Togo, the ship landed in the Middle Eastern gem, Syria. The students were given a day to explore the country and see the spectacular sites and historic traditions that Syria had to offer. While boarding the bus at the port, one student who was not paying attention accidentally boarded the wrong bus.

The student thought something was off when he noticed that all of the people on the bus had their faces covered with only their eyes being visible, but he simply assumed they were all afraid of getting sunburnt. He decided to do the same, as he didn’t want to be the only one sunburnt. When the bus finally stopped, the student arrived at a very sandy lot. As he got off the bus, he and everyone else on the bus were handed a gun. He was a bit suspicious at this point but figured that the group must be reenacting the War of Independence Syria had with the French during the early 1900s.

The student followed the rest of the group as they proceeded to go through militaristic training through the grounds. What was at first a fun game for the student, ended up becoming more of an exercise as he grew tired of hopping through tires and crawling through wires. Remembering that there was a bar back at the Syrian port where his group had landed, the student decided to ditch the group and get drunk at the port. As no one was looking, the student snuck onto the trunk of the bus that was leaving the grounds and several hours later, jumped off and ran to the bar.

A few hours later, the rest of the student group arrived at the port extremely worried as they had no idea where the missing student had gone. As they discussed where he might be, a man wearing a head cloth starting running at them and yelling in what they assumed to be Arabic. As the man got closer, his head cloth fell off, revealing himself to be the missing student, speaking English in a very intoxicated tongue.

As he sobered up, the student realized that he had boarded the wrong bus and tried sharing his Syrian adventure with the rest of the group, but no one believed him as they assumed he had just gotten too drunk and was making up stories. This reporter thought the same of the student’s story until he revealed to me a sticker that read, “ISIS Rocks!” with a picture of a smiling rock next to it.

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