It’s that time where we must let go of our easygoing summer vibes and accept the stress of the new semester. In the spirit of putting your best foot forward and then everything going downhill anyway, here are some tips to fully embrace the calamities that are bound to ensue this fall semester:

1. Always be late to class, especially when it’s a class of 15 students or fewer. When the professor asks where you were, tell him the line for Dunkin was ridiculously long again.
2. Treat every week like syllabus week, then remember there is no such thing as syllabus week. Do it anyway.
3. Make friends by jamming every printer in the library when the line is long.
4. Steal one of the staplers from the library. Don’t forget your wire cutters.
5. Put in a request to use the Corner House for a register.
6. Steal one of Public Safety’s bikes and ride it to class every day. When they ask where you got it, tell them you found it.
7. Trap one of the campus squirrels and keep it in your dorm room. Charge $5 admission to see it.
8. Claim one of the couches on the second floor of the library as your nap couch. Proceed to yell at anyone who decides to sit there and declare you have permanent dibs.
9. Fall asleep in class and when your professor wakes you up, go on a long rant about how sleep is vital to the learning process.
10. Say “Happy birthday” to every tour guide that you pass by.
11. Realize you’ve only got four years here, so get those 2 a.m. nacho tots and enjoy the ride.