Comedy Column: Manholes Spew Stinky Steam

Rachel Healy, Campus Life Editor

 

There has been a sinister cloud that has fallen over campus lately. It wafts around much like the early morning fall fog. However unlike the fog, it really smells. This is of course the one and only, now infamous, Seventh Street Sewer Hole.

Obnoxiously noxious steam pours forth from the uncovered manholes at the intersection of Seventh Street and Moore Avenue. Many students scrunch up their noses or hide their faces in their sleeves as they trudge past.

This unfortunately rank steam has been a presence on campus since Sept. 26-27. 

“Of all weekends, parents weekend? Why couldn’t they have waited to do this later?” one junior girl angrily said. 

“My parents already think they’re paying too much tuition, imagine how they felt when they smell that horrible steam,” a freshman boy said. 

While the smell obviously affected parents, it has also taken a toll on students. When asked how it affects his daily life a senior boy said, “My roommate smells bad enough, now I have to deal with this?”

The reason for the uncovered manholes is one that eludes the students. Possibly because of construction, possibly to replace pipes, no one is sure. The steam continues to waft along the street, assaulting the sensitive noses of students and turning stomachs.

While the reason for the steam is anyone’s guess, one sophomore girl seems to know the answer.

“Mole people, it’s definitely mole people,” she said.

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