As the Women’s and Gender Studies Department continues to expand, the University reports a proportionate increase in the number of phone calls from parents complaining about their daughters becoming feminists.

John Gateway, father of Lisa Gateway ’19, has lodged a formal complaint with the University alleging that he is unwillingly paying for their daughter to become a feminist. He asserts that his tuition dollars should go toward giving his daughter enough knowledge to avoid sounding like a bumbling idiot, but not so much knowledge that she starts having her own ideas.

“When I decided to send my daughter to a liberal arts university, I knew she would be getting a wide range of perspectives. However, when my daughter came home for summer vacation spouting off ideas about safe spaces and women as CEOs, I knew this liberal agenda had gone too far in brainwashing her,” Gateway said. “There’s only so much space in a girl’s brain, and it cannot be wasted on feminist propaganda. She needs to use the space in her tiny brain for things like learning how to sew and add numbers to make sure she has enough money at the grocery store.”

When asked if Mrs. Gateway was available to comment on the matter, Mr. Gateway stated that she was not, as she was at home caring for the children. Despite her father’s objections, Gateway plans to declare a Women’s and Gender Studies major this spring.