The List: Donald Trump’s post-election to-do list
November 11, 2016
1. Move out of Trump Tower and New York.
2. Actually learn about foreign and domestic policy.
3. Not grab women by the p*ssy.
4. Pay women not to talk about how he grabbed them by the p*ssy.
5. Learn how to say the word “huge” correctly.
6. Find the right pen to fit into his tiny hands to sign executive orders.
7. Learn how to speak Russian.
8. Hire a stylist brave enough to tell him he looks orange.
9. Plan a boys’ weekend at Mar-a-Lago with Ali Khamenei, Vladimir Putin, and Kim Jong-un.
10. Make America great (again).