In an email to students on Jan. 16, the University Safety Commission (USC) laid out several guidelines in hopes of keeping students safe and the University lawsuit-free in light of the current winter season.

Some of the recommendations advise students to avoid falling on dangerous ice by walking on their hands and knees, especially when trekking up and down steep hills, such as the one found on 7th Street.  Other suggestions include sledding to class instead of walking and wearing snowsuits cushioned with foam to mitigate the effects of a fall (god forbid).

Penny Gwenn ’18 expressed her concern over the new safety guidelines. “Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that the school expects me to crawl to class in the snow and ice.  I got a Canada Goose jacket over winter break and there’s no way I’m ruining it just to save the University some money,” Gwenn said.

“Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean the world stops turning,” USC chairman Jude Lawyer said.  “Of course we want to keep everyone safe this winter, and sometimes the best way to do that is waddling around like a little penguin.”