Following a Saturday night in, Penelope Phi Omega ’17 told reporters that she spent the evening compulsively sliding her finger down the home screen of the Venmo app, continuously refreshing the list of transactions her friends have made to one another.

“I normally count down the minutes until classes are over on Friday afternoons, and I dread Sunday mornings when I need to prioritize homework over alcohol, but I decided to stay in this weekend to show everyone I can practice self-care and wellness,” Phi Omega said.

She added that seeing all of her friends transactions filled with food and beverage emojis really made her feel as if she was out at whatever party they were attending.

“I texted my group chat when I saw that they were all Venmo-ing each other the taco emoji and said ‘omg I didn’t know you guys were doing taco night! I would have made margs’” Phi Omega said. “But they never answered.”