“Should I ‘finsta’ this or do you think his girlfriend would screenshot it?”

“I don’t know if I should apply to be an OA, I’m not very social.”

“I think he cares a lot about his hair, so I would gladly shave it off if I could.”

“Does anything about me scream ‘chopped salad?’”

“I think if I could come back as anyone, it would be someone who has a lot of tattoos and goes to the gym a lot.”

“I was one of, like, five people out of 200 who wore a short dress to prom in high school and I f*cking loved myself for it.”

**A note from the satire editors: Most of the sh*t we put in this section is fake. However, these quotes are 100 percent true. Send the sh*t you “overherd” to [email protected] or [email protected]!