Aug. 21 marked the first day of classes for University students. By all accounts, the start of the semester began like any other.

“It was a typical first week. I moved into my dorm on Saturday and on Sunday I celebrated the new school year with brunch at Amami,” Danielle Silverman ’18 said.

Recently, however, there has been trouble in paradise. Ever since the first day, the line at the Student Mailroom has stretched farther and farther into the student space. Now, there is quite literally no end in sight.

Many students expressed their disappointment in the snake-like line, explaining its negative impact on their ability to socialize.

“My mom has been sending me care packages with cookies to share and make new friends,” Christian Vedder ’21 said. “But now the line at the Mailroom is so long, I’ve had to eat the cookies to keep me going while I wait for other packages.”

Brittany Gateway ’18 claims she nearly missed class waiting in line.

“When I got to school, I realized I didn’t bring enough pairs of distressed jeans and trendy off-the-shoulder tops,” Gateway said. “I immediately had to place an overnight order to update my wardrobe.”

When Gateway’s clothes arrived on time, she thought the worst was behind her. However, her struggle for fashion was far from over.

“I had to wait in line at the Mailroom for over two hours to pick up my package. I made it only just in time for my biology lab,” Gateway said.

In order keep the students hydrated on line, Bucknell Student Government has set up water stations along the path to the counter. Students are also encouraged to stretch out at regular intervals to increase blood flow and prevent fainting.

We offer our thoughts and prayers to all those still waiting for their packages, whether it be your fifth pair of fall sandals or that week-old loaf of Aunt Betty’s banana bread. Stay strong and practice safe line-waiting techniques as we search for a solution.