Migos performed a successful and well-attended concert at the University on Nov. 11. Excited by the rave reviews from the student body and eager to spend the rest of the evening out on the town, Migos set out immediately after the end of the concert to enjoy the University’s wild night life.

After a few minutes of wandering around campus, Migos caught wind of a party that was happening downtown. Quavo, Offset, and Takeoff hopped onto the campus shuttle and were brought to St. Catherine Street in a matter of minutes. Once they heard the chorus of one of their songs blaring, they knew that they had found the right party house. They made it to the front door, but were surprised to find a group of three male sophomores guarding the door.

“It was a shame, really,” Alex Swartz ’20 explained. “I had to tell them: ‘Sorry guys, we can’t let you in. Your ratio is off.’”

Migos were outraged and, after ten minutes of waiting in line, had no choice but to leave. Without any other plans for the night, they began the long trek back to campus. Once they arrived at the Elaine Langone Center, Migos spotted a large group of students huddled outside the Flying Bison. With the smell of grease and beer in the air, the group decided to split some nacho tots before bed. However, when they finally walked up to the window to place their order, they were dismayed to learn that the Flyson would not accept $100 bills.

“I told him that I would be happy to make him 16 orders of nacho tots,” Mac Nacho ’19, cook at the Flyson, said. “But Quavo wouldn’t take the bait. I’ve seen people eat more for much less.”

With no other options left, Migos decided to go to Sheetz and order some late-night snacks. They called an Uber and got to the notorious gas station/restaurant just before 1:00 a.m. Offset and Takeoff both ordered salads, and Quavo ate a gourmet hotdog. They also loaded up on sides, and everyone got a slushy.

“It wasn’t exactly the amazing University meal I was expecting,” Offset said, mid-salad. “But I’m not complaining.”

Migos returned to campus at the end of night with Sheetz leftovers in hand, and were reportedly content with watching Netflix and playing video games until they fell asleep.

“First-years really do have it rough,” Takeoff said.