It all started with the words “Young Sheck Wes and I’m getting really rich (ching-ching).”

Marty Jamieson ’22 was walking home on Monday night after playing some late night squash with his boys at around 1:30 a.m. As his buddies went back to Vedder Hall, Jamieson was left alone to complete his journey from the KLARC to Swartz Hall.

Realizing that he had left his backpack at the football field earlier that day, he decided to take the long way home. When passing by Rooke Chapel, Jamieson heard bells that rang differently than the average church tolls, followed by lyrics that would require extensive censoring if we were to include them in this publication.

“At first I was pretty freaked out because Sheck’s voice was echoing, almost angelic,” Jamieson said. “Naturally, though, I started to sway back and forth a bit, and before I knew it, I was belting the lyrics, thrashing around as if I were in a mosh pit.”

Upon remembering that he was by himself in the middle of the night, Jamieson decided to stop bumping and head for his dorm. He did not think to check who or what was making the noise inside of the chapel.

Theories ranging from Jamieson fabricating the entire story to Sheck holding secret rehearsals in the chapel have circulated around campus.

“I don’t buy it,” Steven Truce ’22, one of Jamieson’s squash friends, said. “He’s just jealous that the rest of our squad lives downhill. Seems just like him to pull something like this out of thin air to get some extra attention, and maybe even an escort to his dorm next time around.”

“Personally, I think the real Sheck Wes died and is haunting our campus,” Shane Lawson ’21 said. “This is the first concrete evidence supporting the conspiracy. If you’ve been paying close attention to his live performances, there seems to be a different sort of glint in his eye. I hate to draw conclusions, but the real Sheck has left the building.”

In the upcoming weeks, students are planning on having watch parties with rotating shifts in the hopes of hearing the lyrics echoing out of Rooke and proving the rumors true.