University students have officially reached the halfway point in the semester, preparing for the infamous “House Party Weekend,” an outbreak of senioritis, and housing registration for the fall. This time of year is particularly difficult for seniors who are planning to graduate in May.

After May 19, adulthood will be in full swing for graduates and (for most) mid-day naps will no longer be a part of their daily schedules. While many seniors have jobs lined up at prominent companies, Denny Denial ’19 can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that commencement is on the horizon.

The Bucknellian spoke with Denial after hearing about his way of coping with graduation.

“It can’t be real,” Denial said. “I thought if I went ahead and applied for housing, I would have no choice but to come back to Lewisburg, my favorite city, in the fall. I was already planning on commuting each weekend so I could be in attendance for all the Supers.”

University Housing Services informed The Bucknellian that Denial was registered to live in a Gateway for the upcoming semester. It wasn’t until his parents received the bill for next year’s room and board that he had to explain himself.

“I was super bummed when my parents found out because I finessed such a nice Gateway with my younger buddies,” Denial said. “I’m not worried though because I plan on staying at the 2-star Comfort Suites down the road each weekend.”

The Bucknellian contacted The Office of Admissions regarding Denial’s decision to see if it was feasible for him to remain a student for the following academic year.

“Normally, we don’t let these situations fly,” Associate Dean Fiona Fee said. “However, Denial and his family were paying full tuition, so I don’t see how an extra $70,000 could hurt the University.”

In a recent interview with Denial, it appears that he is adamant about staying on campus for the fall semester and has somehow managed to convince his parents to pay his tuition bill for just one more year. As of now, students can expect to see the future fifth-year next August and, if they are lucky, even share a class with him.