When you were a child, you were probably read the renowned children’s book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” You may have also experienced the sequels “If You Give a Moose a Muffin” and “If You Give a Dog a Donut” if your parents saw fit.

Following Disney’s pattern of adapting popular children’s movies to attract both nostalgic millennials and a new generation of youngsters, acclaimed children’s author Mia Mouse released the newest installment in her famous children’s series: “If You Bring Your Dog to Super.”

Mouse came to check out last weekend’s Super Saturday festivities, trolling from house to house with her Bernese Mountain Dog, Doug. Student reactions to Doug’s appearance were universally positive.

“My friends and I were so happy Doug was there! I was initially worried about the volume of the music hurting the dog’s ears, but he seemed to be having a grand old time,” Denise Petter ’21 said. “I couldn’t stop petting him! He was so fluffy. I just feel bad for the owner because without frat shoes to protect them, his poor paws ended up coated in mud.”

To make matters worse, it was reported that after getting a little too acquainted with some friends surrounding the keg, Doug rolled in every pool of mud he could find.

“The author interviewed me and I said to definitely bring a leash,” Joseph Ferguson ’22 said. “I told her that a doggie bag probably wouldn’t be necessary, though.”

Mouse was eager to share her discoveries once Super finally died down.

“Perhaps the most insightful lesson I learned was that your dog does not belong there,” Mouse said. “For the most part, his tail was wagging from all the attention, but by the end, he was panting and covered in substances I am, to this day, unaware of.”

She believes that her goal of creating a children’s story that appeals to older crowds was accomplished, and those who had the pleasure of meeting Doug at Super are looking forward to picking up a copy of the story from the University Barnes & Noble.

All things considered, if you bring your dog to Super, maybe you should just turn around.