“Finally, a comedian that I can respect,” Abriel Alloway ’22 told us about Eric Andre’s performance in Sojka Pavilion. However, the routine that followed would not be laden with Andre’s usual raunchy stunts.

The crowd, after the stereotypical Center Stage pep-rally, was admittedly hungry for some real entertainment. 

As the curly-haired comedian – famous for vomiting on Wall Street, drinking gasoline and Lysol in front of perturbed retail employees, and getting kicked out of the RNC for telling a famous right-wing conspirator “I want you to have sex with my wife”– stepped on stage, the crowd beamed with anticipation, but temperament changed when some noticed his outfit. 

Andre was dressed in a button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves, cuffed pants, and taco socks. “Huh,” Dinera Andreen ’20 said. “I thought he’d be dressing a little more like he does in his show.” Andre is notorious for wearing poorly fitting tuxedos with boxers or black morph suits covered in Froot Loops, so many other students were surprised at this as well.

However, Andre appeared excited and ready to provoke the crowd with the offensive and edgy jokes he’s commonly known for. “What’s up Bison?” he yelled as the crowd of eager students cheered in response. “I’m so excited to be here! You know, I traveled all the way from L.A. and I hear that it snows a lot over here. It snows so much I might get a little chilly up here on stage!” He paused expectantly, waiting for a response from the crowd. None came.

Proceeding with his routine, he mused, “Hold on, I’ve got a good one for you guys. Knock, knock!” Students in the audience looked to each other, and tentatively replied, “Who’s there?” Andre, trying not to burst into laughter, said “Mustache.” Visibly distressed, several University students said to each other, “Is he okay?” before responding with “Mustache who?” A few chuckles escaped the 36-year-old’s persona before he croaked out, “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!” A few in the crowd booed and now Andre was the one looking visibly distressed. “Hey, I worked hard on that one now!”

Trying to continue his routine, he told the crowd, “You know, I have a karaoke punk band called The Ungrateful Dead, but we don’t exist yet.” More boos could be heard, louder this time, reminiscent of Kanye West’s visit to the University. Right then, a small man, who would be later identified as Andre’s partner Hannibal Burress, pulled the notorious comedian from the stage. Looking visibly confused, Andre began shouting, “What if we ranched it up? Let’s ranch it up! You want a hit?” as he exited the stage. 

“Look,” Burress told the now confused group of University students, “he had a concussion, alright? He smashed two glass bottles on his head during an interview. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but for some reason, he thinks this stuff’s funny. He said he wanted to do this show tonight and I couldn’t tell him no, right?”

Boos then erupted and Burress, too, was pulled from the stage by Public Safety. Sojka Pavilion was closed and students slumped home, now turning to their computers. The crowd then gathered in the Elaine Langone Center Forum to watch that one clip of Andre spill milk and Fruit Loops all over the New York City subway. Because if Andre won’t do it, who will?