Last Friday, the student-run concert committee brought in two stellar acts to perform: the popular SoundCloud legends responsible for the “Big Bootie” mixes, Two Friends, as well as popular rapper, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, known for his hits “Drowning” featuring Kodak Black and “Swervin” featuring 6ix9ine.

Students awaited their visit eagerly, telling friends near and far about how lit Nov. 8 was going to be. Over half of the attendees were from outside universities, but the more the merrier, right?

One student shared her almost traumatic experience (by the fault of some rowdy kids visiting from either Maryland, Connecticut, or New Jersey) that started the circulation of something sacred: a Boogie’s hoodie finding its way downtown.

“I was bumping to Boogie when I was abruptly shoved sideways by someone that looked like a very tall eighth-grader,” Lilly Jackit ’22 said. “Since I was in the first row, Boogie watched as I nearly fell to the ground and offered me his hoodie to save my life.”

However, after Jackit’s spiritual experience, the hoodie quickly gained attention, as did its location. Girls began screaming and fighting over it, begging for the privilege to wear it just for “less than, like, five seconds.” One student eagerly told us about what ensued at the frats downtown regarding the hoodie.

“I was so jealous and really wanted to try it on, even if it was a little sweaty. When I noticed it lying under a bush downtown on the southside of St. Catherine’s, I took my chances,” Anna Lock ’23 said. “Madness ensued. I barely made it to the frats before it was taken from me and I was left fracket-less, having to freeze on my way back to Vedder.”

Although our warmest regards go to A Boogie, who has probably lost his hoodie forever, we can only hope he knows just how many girls have gotten some fracket aid from him that Friday night. The world is left to wonder whose possession the hoodie is in now – likely, either in a girl’s closet or on Ebay.